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Reviews for Shattered Freedom

By : sisko66002
  • From ANON - Nina on April 21, 2004
    I'm really enjoying this story. Poor Yusuke, he's really going through hell. I hope that bitch gets her ass kicked. Can't wait to see where this is going.
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  • From ANON - Dark Dragon on April 01, 2004
    NO!!!!!! NOT YUUSUKE!! How can that bitch even think about touching him, and after he's been raped to boot! Your story is good, very angsty. In case you have a writter's block, I have a pretty good idea of what you should do: Goten finds out what happened to Yuusuke and decides to help him by teaching him the DBZ fighting styles and the Saiyajin's weaknesess (which he, in turn, teaches Hiei), to help him the evil, bitchy, spoiled, and I-am-Vegeta's-daughter-so-I-always-get-what-I-want twins (Arianna and Ariel). Ariel took advantage of Yuusuke, and since he was raped he must be scared shitless of her (it is common sense, and a completely normal reaction) and he must obviously hate her for forcing herself on him. You could also make Hiei protective of Yuusuke after seeing what Ariel had done to him. You can make them each other's "shoulder to cry on" and they develop strong feelings for one another (and Hiei can help Yuusuke heal after he was raped by both Mukuro's soldiers and Ariel). After Arianna and Ariel find out that the boys love each other and not them, make them go through a lot fo emotional pain (they definitely deserve it now that Yuusuke was raped) (I'm a die-hard Yuusuke fan, so don't mind my over-protectiveness of him). This is just an idea to get rid of the die-hard writter's block (if you have one, that is). Great storie, I hope to read more chapters from this soon, you are a fantastic writter, and don't worry about making a good or bad lemon (here is a tip: write in separate sheets of papers different lemons between Yuusuke and Hiei, any position, and then you can combine the ones you thought were the best. I did it for something similar (wasn't a lemon or anything in fanfiction though but it could work for these) and not only did it help me with something that is new to me but it also worked)
    Hope that this review has given you the motivation you need to write a new chapter!

    Dark Dragon
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  • From ANON - edk-adt on April 01, 2004
    WOW!so far it is wonderful!i usually dont like x but this 1 i really like!keep riting!HURRY & UPDATE
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  • From ANON - Dark Dragon on March 02, 2004
    I hope there is going to be a lot of Yusuke/Hiei lemons in this fic. If you do more fics, can they please be of Yusuke/Hiei pairings?
    I really love your work

    Dark Dragon
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  • From ANON - Dark Dragon on March 01, 2004
    I love your fic! I sugest you make Ariana fall for Hiei but Hiei will be cold around her because she took away his freedom. The same goes for Ariel and Yusuke= Ariel falls for him and he is cold towards her because she is the cause that he was raped and that he doesn't have his freedom. And put Ariana and Ariel in a lot of emotional pain because of that (they deserve it for treating Yusuke and Hiei as property!). While you're on it, you could make Goku's family become horrified and disgusted at what happened to Yusuke and Hiei, and they team up with Kurama to help Yusuke and Hiei get away.
    Just a couple of iden can case you have a writer's block, but if you want to do it another way that is fine by me.
    You must continue this original and amazing fic.

    Dark Dragon
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  • From ANON - Nina on February 29, 2004
    This story is reatakitaking on a life of its own. I'm interested to find out more about where the sisters are from. And how Kurama is going to rescue Hiei and Yusuke. This is getting really good. Take your time with the next chapter so it comes out the way you want. I'll look forward to it.
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  • From ANON - Nina on February 27, 2004
    This is getting good. Please keep going.
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  • From ANON - Nina on February 26, 2004
    This last chapter was very good. It filled in some of the questions I had. I'm very interested to see how the rest falls into place. Keep going.
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  • From ANON - Nina on February 24, 2004
    I would like to see the next few chapters to see where you are taking this. Because right now I'm confused. I think you need to give alot more information tying the storyline together a bit more. The chapter was way too short which left too many questions like "huh". But you have sparked my curiousity. So give us a few more longer chapters that will set up the story a little more clearly. It could very possibly end up being very entertaining. Plus, I can't believe you killed off Koga. That was very, very, nau naughty. Well good luck. I'll look forward to seeing where this stoyline goes. (PS: THIS REVIEW IS NOT A FLAME, SO PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT AS SUCH)
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