Sick of- Achoo!

BY : Resting-Madness
Category: Yuyu Hakusho > Yaoi - Male/Male
Dragon prints: 295
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything in the realm of Yu Yu Hakuso such as storyline, characters etc. We clear? Alright then. On with the show. I also make no money for this just reviews, thanks for them.

Hiei sat at the kitchen table, watching as Kuwabara fished around in the lower cabinets for a pot. The red head then went to the drawer and found a fork, next he grabbed a package of 'Top Ramen' noodles and placed them on the counter beside the stove. It was different from the way Kurama made his noodles for him.

Kurama... Was he home yet or what? Maybe he thinks I'm angry about his leaving the windows and door locked. Hn. He can forget it if he thinks I'm going to apologize for anything that wasn't my fault.

"Are you listening!?" The red head snapped.

"Do I ever?" Retorts the disgruntled demon.

"If you wanna eat you'd better," he sighed as though he were holding in a great deal of anger then he just let it go. "I asked how do you like your noodles?"

Hiei thought for a moment. "The way Kurama makes them."

"Tch, I don't know the way Kuraaama makes 'em." He mocked Hiei's words.

Hiei could sense a girly little fit coming on, and rolling his eyes as the red head continued speaking he grabbed the bell from the table and gave it a good shake. That seemed to silence Kuwabara.

"Make it the way Kurama does."

Kuwabara spoke slowly as though it were to an idiot who didn't know 'hello' from 'goodbye'. "I don't know how!"


Growling, Kuwabara placed his hands on his hips leaning over with a glare. "The water's boiling... so if you know how than tell me, if not shut up and let me make them the way I do!"

Hiei narrowed his eyes before turning them away. "I don't know... I never watched him."

"Fine then," straightening up, he returned to what he was supposed to be doing.

Hiei watched with full attention.

First, Kuwabara tore open a package of dried noodles, then broke them apart; little tapping sounds hit the floor and with his foot he swept them under the stove.

Disgusting. Grunts the youkai.

Kuwabara chuckled at something before saying. "Forgot to break them up in the package."

Once a fool, always a fool.

Kuwabara dropped the broken squares into the pot of boiling water. Standing over it he stuck the fork in every once in a while to give it a stir. Hiei was growing impatient, his stomach felt like it would actually betray him by making a growl of hunger. Picking up the bell he shook it furiously, scaring the the poor man's chef.

"Hurry up!"

"I'm going as fast as I can, it's not magic y'know, food has to cook!" Turning off the stove, he picks up the pot walking it to the sink. "Stupid jerk... but I've gotta remember I'm doing this for Kurama." Putting a grin on his face, he muttered through his teeth. "Be nice, be nice."

The seasoning packet was the last thing to go into the pot, now that the water was drained, and with a quick stir the red head dumped it into the bowl then walked it over to the table.

Giving the steam a sniff, he sighed. "Mmm, this is gonna be great." Setting it down before the customer he held out a hand. "There. Chicken ramen, ala Kuwabara."

The bowl was flipped over into his hand before he could even react in time to move it. The boiling hot noodles scolded instantly causing a tear to come to the swordsman's eyes.

"YOW! You little!" He reached for Hiei's neck; but the bell ringing stopped him from attacking.

"Before you decide to strangle me, you'd better consider what Kurama will do to you if anything happens to me while I'm here." Hiei said coolly. "He may seem like mister nice guy when you're hanging out," the words dripped from his mouth in disgust. "But when it comes to me, he's nothing but cut throat for my safety."

Kuwabara thought about that for a moment... He could just see Kurama now.

"What happened to Hiei?" He would ask.

"I uhh.. ahahaha... He kind of fell into my unusually strong grip and... died." He would reply.

Kurama's solemn face would get serious, scary serious like that creepy bandit Youko that he saw at the tournament. Kuwabara shivered as he watched the rose whip drop from the guy's hand to the floor.

Gulping, he put a smile on his face then laughed. "Ahahaha, no hard feelings then ahahaha- what third degree burn." He blew on his hand.

"Make more." His words were stern.

Kuwabara couldn't believe the little piss was serious! He obviously doesn't want the stuff, so why should he make more?


"What was wrong with the last one?"

"Your thumb was in the bowl when you carried it over..." He smirked at the flustered male's anger. "Do it again."

Biting his tongue, the red head picked up the porcelain bowl and walked it back over to the counter. I'd better switch to plastic, it's pretty lucky that this didn't bre-... "Ah!"

"Hn. Stupid monkey, you should know better than to throw your food."

Kuwabara's eye twitched. "But... You threw that!"

"You'd blame childish acts on a sick person? What kind of man are you?"

His eye twitched again. Keep your cool, he's trying to get on your nerves; that's why my sister gave him that damn bell. Rrrr, I still wish he wasn't here though. I could have invited Urameshi over by now. "Ugh!" He felt another slap of luke-warm hit his face, it shook him out of his thoughts.

Looking across the kitchen the youkai's smirk widened and his arms crossed over his chest. Grinning through the anger, Kuwabara managed a laugh.

"Heh heh, good one." Heading to the table, he scooped the remaining mess that wasn't flung at him into his palm. It made his stomach turn to hold something that was warm like vomit. It made him think of last night when the jerk had thrown that at him. "You're absolutely right, Hiei, it's better to clean up your messes then to leave them there." Turning his head he mumbled under his breath. "Because childish, short, demons will throw it at you."

"Try to do it faster this time, I'm losing my appetite." Which was a lie.

"Now wouldn't that be terrible." He shook the food from his hand into the sink with the disposal unit. Turning on the water, he filled the pot again then placed it on the stove. This time he selected a pork flavor. Waiting for the food to be done, he turned around to keep an eye on the demon. Having his back to Hiei was not a good idea.

"So what's with the tree?" Hiei said out of nowhere.

Kuwabara blinked, a bit confused. Looking to where Hiei's gaze was in his living room, he asked. "What tree?"

"The tree in the corner of the room, that small one with the things all over it." Hiei laughed to himself. "Did you feel sorry for it because it's as pathetic as you."

"That's the christmas tree, so what-..." he paused. "It's not pathetic, my sister isn't into that whole Christmas thing, but she agreed to let me have a small tree."

"I don't care."

"Then why'd you ask?!"

"I saw the tree at Kurama's house last year when he had that party... it was bigger."

"Incase you haven't noticed I'm not Kurama! I-..."

Tsss sss ssss.

"Shit!" Turning around he began to blow down the starch that had risen to the top of the pot and was now spilling over. "Getting into it with you, look what you did now!"

Hiei didn't care, his eyes are still scanning the downstairs portion of the house. Now that it's daylight things look a lot different than he remembered. More pathetic really. How could anyone live like this? Kurama's house is lovely- as far as a ningen home went- most of the things about it are authentic, from this nick knack to that and there was wooden flooring. Kuwabara has a carpet over practically everything.

Turning his attention back to the food he was surprised to see it set down in front of him. Kuwabara made sure not to put his fingers anywhere near the edge of the bowl, instead they were placed around the bottom even though it was burning his fingers through the plastic bowl.

"There." His smirk read pure satisfaction. "Just try to find something wrong with this batch."

Hiei looked it over, the steam rising to his face. Looking back at Kuwabara he asks flatly, "Did you sniff this?"


"You heard me."

"What does that have to do with anything, I can smell it from her- OW!" The bowl was easily knocked against his lap and he bared his teeth in pain. "Don't tell me you tossed it on me because I could smell it."

"Maybe." He frowned. "Do it again."

Again, Kuwabara, regardless the pain on his hand and now on his groin, started another pot of ramen. This time he wouldn't sniff it or hold the bowl wrong, it would be perfect then that little- BRAT, could eat his damned soon-to-be lunch with the way things were going, and leave him alone for a bit.

This time the noodles were brought to the table, no fingers in the bowl, though it was hard to carry with one hand underneath it and the other slapped over his nose and mouth- just incase the creep wanted to claim that he breathed on it too long.

Shakily, the bowl is set on the table. From behind his hand, Kuwabara says, "I dare you to find anything wrong with that."

Hiei eyeballed it a moment for any 'gorilla hairs' or other Kuwabara shedding. There were none. So reaching up, he swats the bowl with his hand, knocking it over onto Kuwabara, who luckily, dodged it. But that didn't mean he wasn't pissed about Hiei wasting yet another item in his house.

"What was wrong with that!?" He spat with his hand from over his mouth.

"It was too hot."

"You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Do it again!" Hiei closed his eyes, a tiny smirk appearing at the corners of his mouth. "Unless of course you want to upset Kurama because a sick person went hungry in your care."

Not good. Kuwabara could see a new scenario now.

Kurama placed a hand over his eyes as he let tears fall to the floor. Kuwabara has never seen Kurama cry so his heart is eating him up inside.

"How could you, Dr. Kuwabara. I thought that Hiei was important to you, because he's important to me."

"He is important!"

"Than why?" He looks at him, huge eyes wet with sadness. "Why would you let sweet little, do nothing wrong, Hiei die of hunger?"

"I'm sorry!" Kuwabara begins to cry as well.

"I'll never forgive you and I hope you fail every test." He begins to fade away. "Every single one."


"You'll be a trash man, and raise pigs with your boyfriend."

"Urameshi too!"

"I hate you Kuwabara!" He was almost gone now. "Failure!"

"Da-alright, I'll make you some more, but you'd better not spill it this time." Snatching up the bowl, he strode back over to the stove. The following events made him lose his mind just a bit each time.

First, Kuwabara made the noodles over for him. No fingers in the bowl, no breathing on it, at least, there wasn't until he set it down and began to blow it off for him. Hiei nearly had a heart attack, eyes wide in shock, disgust and anger. Sure enough, Kuwabara ended up with noodles in his face.

He asked what the problem was; Hiei wanted it coolled of after all. The youkai said he wasn't to do it himself. So the next time around, Kuwabara placed the bowl in the freezer. Splat! It was too cold.

So once again, Kuwabara made a another pack. But each time ended with him getting food on him. Too soupy, too dry, not enough seasoning- not that Hiei tasted it- and the list went on. He was working so fast and hard to please his sick patient that he accidentally stuck the fork into his mouth after mixing the noodles in the boiling water.

"OWWW!" He howled in pain. Hiei's laughter was worth it, though as he finally heard the jerk say.



Balling his fist, Kuwabara damn near throttled the little-... "What now!? I thought it was perfect!"

"I hate this kind. I only eat Soba."

"We don't have any."

"Moron, you have money. Go out and get some."

The red head's left eye twitched several times before he was able to find his voice again. I did all that cooking, wasted all that time and he doesn't even!

It was because of these events that Kuwabara was driven slowly mad, he was sure of it, because only a crazy person would say what he said after that.

"Fine then! Come to the store with me and get it yourself!"

And a smile so evil it would have peeled paint spread over the demon's face. But Kuwabara missed this, as he growled and twitched in an angry cloud.


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