Adult-FanFiction.org : YuYu Hakusho

Reviews for Coming Clean

By : mhmartini

From ss_dragon_lady on September 19, 2005
That was such a great story. I love it and can't wait for more! You did such a great job capturing Hiei and Kurama, how they would both change and grow within a relationship with each other. Just to let you know, you are my insperation. It was your story, this story, that got me to writing Hiei and Kurama stories. It gave me the nerve to say, hey I can write boyxboy love if I wanted, I had always read it. Thanks to you my stories and arc came to be. I am very grateful to you for that. You will always have a reader in me, if you keep writing and I hope you do. I would love to see that reunion story if it comes to light. Anyway, I just got to say again I loved this story and keep up the good work!
Report Review
From BlueUtopiah on September 19, 2005
I am so happy for you - you must feel a great sense of accomplishment - now you have 2 ji-huge stories finished - that is a rare thing among ff authors. *Gasp* a finished story! Who would've thought?

But - anyway - you finished this in such a warm, lovely way. I walked away from this chapter feeling a bit melancholy but very very warm. (Melancholy because it's over!). I loved the rings, the stones in the rings and what those stones symbolized. I was surprised at first that Hiei gave his ring to Kurama in front of everyone, but he's going to do what he wants when he wants to and doesn't care what anyone thinks. Hatanaka needs a punch in the head though (I know it all gets straightened out - but he still ticks me off!).

The demon mating ritual was amazing - it wasn't the same thing that I've seen dozens of times before - but it was an actual ritual - and I like how it started slow and the energies built up. I loved how they marked each other, but not in the typical way - and that the marks faded by morning.

The end - from Shiori's pov, thinking back to the first chapter and about how Shuuichi has grown up, made everything come wonderfully full circle. I now feel all gushy (but that's good). Congratulations! Now I have to drvie down and celebrate with you!
Report Review
From ANON - Dark Delta on September 18, 2005
great, awesome, really freaking good. it gives me a stated feeling that it ended like that it was great way to end. I can't get rid of the smile thats on my face, which happens rarely. thank you really thank you it was good
Report Review
From ANON - Mea on September 18, 2005
WOW! That was briliant! It was one of the best stories I have ever read in my entire life! The mating scene was beautiful (or as beautiful as two demons biting eachother's necks can get.) Everything was so great! I can't wait for Akambo! Did you say demonic scientist? I always wanted to write something about an evil scientific lab (if I can ever get enough courage to write something [my grammer sucks. -_-])

My idea was to have ::pause:: Have you read book 7 of the manga. If you haven't, it gives tells the story of Hiei and Kurama's first meeting. Long-story short, Kurama and Hiei are both trying to kill this evil demon named Yatsude for their own personal reasons. They team up, they kill him, they become good friends. The real story is a lot better than this crapy explaination.::unpause:: this evil lab capture Hiei (before he meets Kurama or Yusuke), but he escapes. Then the whole Kurama meets Hiei story I just told you. But then, Yatsude was really a minion( can't think of a better word) of the lab, who was captured and is being controled, sent out to capture Hiei. When Hiei and Kurama killed Yatsude, little tracking devices were planted in their skin (I'm still trying to think up this story, so I'm sorry if that seems kind of lame) So the lab has been tracking them from that point to the end of the series. The lab has sent out spies to gather information on them by the places they have been. The lab(It) knows of their weaknesses. It knows about Yusuke and his weakness, but it does not know of the Spirit World or the Demon World, only the stuff happening in Human World. This is a demon-hunting lab that has been around for decades, but Spirit World never did anything about it because they hate demons. Now humans have been going missing as well, the spirit detectives are on the case. Then Keiko, Yukina and Shiori are captured. Then, the lab turns Keiko and Shiori into..demons!

This is just how far I've gotten with it. It sucks. I'm not even sure this story will ever see the light of day. The one thing I'm really set on is Keiko becomeing demons. It's just so sad that Keiko will die long before Yusuke. She will age and die, and Yusuke will be all alone. And can a human bear a demon child and live? When Raizen and the human woman made a child, the woman died during childbirth. I thought that making Keiko a demon would make life easier for them. And with Shiori, well I thought it would add drama to the story. How would all this make her feel? She's just a normal human, with a normal human family, then one day she is captured and maded into a demon. A monster. How would her family react? What would her new husband and son think of her? What would her own son think of her if he saw her like this? I'm getting all emotional just thinking about it. It would make a good mother/son story. But what about Hiei?! He's the one who started all this! Well, sort of. That is my madger plot hole. I get so wrapped up with Keiko and Yusuke and Shiori and Kurama that I forgot Hiei! I don't even think I can fit a Hiei/Kurama pairing in there. I can't write, and this story may never see the light of day(T_T).
I hope you don't mind me putting this here. Please take it off if you don't want it here. If you read this, please tell me what you think of it. I will comment about it on your LJ either today or tomarrow. Please tell me what you think of it. But if you don't want me to talk about this, then know that this story may never be actually completed or written. You can use any of the ideas I a have here. I would be honored if you took them. And I would LOVE to see a Keiko or Shiori demon in one of your stories. I have never seen the ideas used before and it would be nice to see them. I will comment later.
Sincerely Mea
PS- A fox demon is the only demon I would like Shiori to be. I can't see her as anything else, and it go great with Kurama revieling his true self to her.
Report Review
From WindCharmer on September 18, 2005
One thing I must say about your last chapter is that I like how you dealt with the bonding. It's always same old bite thing and you really did make it somehting more, which I loved. When you read the scene, it really is jsut words but the imagery made it so much more. I could "see" the emotion and everything. Loved it mucho, mucho mucho. I am not Spanish. Well this is certainly an odd way to end a review. But really, I loved it, and I can't believe it's over. sniff. *contemplates reading Bugs again...*
Report Review
From ANON - Comicfancat on September 18, 2005
Oh wow,the last chapter.As happy as I am to see the last chapter its as sad as I am to see it end.I didn't remember mention of them being bonded in "Bugs" but was happy to see it here and thought it was a great way to end this installment,happy to see they included Kurama's mom in knowing about it to.But how could you let her walk in on them on their honeymoon(of sorts) hehehe.You'd thought she would've learned from it for bugs(oh well)its a mom thing I guess.You did'nt mention any of Kurama's family for the next story hope it was an oversite.In between the insane doc are they going to the stepfathers family reunion(that could be another stresser for his mom)and a way to let her son and hubby know where she stands again.Anyway,Really well done and look forward to the next installment.And geaphic sex wasn't needed for the bonding and end warmth (least I don't think so) Well done take a bow,if I was there I'd give you a pat on the back :)
Report Review
From ANON - Sil on September 18, 2005
I can�t believe it's over!!T.T (happy tears) It was such a great chapter, loved it! It was so sweet!!Had the perfect flufness, so they were still hiei and kurama. And the mating ritual...i have to say it was the best one i've ever read, with no mating marks left behind... loved those details.
I can�t wait for "Just Bonded", specially cause they really know nothing about bounding ritual, so they'll have to figurate out on the way. ^.^ Although i do believe they can speak to each other mentally, even if other demons can't, afterall, jagan loves kurama as well.
And Akambo...can't wait for first chapter!!Even if you're gonna put some fox torture on it (you love it!��)

Report Review
From ANON - hColleen on September 18, 2005
Okay...here's an acomplishment...I actually read the whole chapter without getting up...I normally get up at least once every 5 minutes...and it took more than 5 minutes to read...and I actually usually have at least three things I'm doing at once...you got my full and mostly undivided attention (can't do much about the people around me asking me things....) But, I loved it!!!! I'm sad the story is over, but it was wonderful!!! Absolutely positively magnificently wonderful! :D Congratulations on your akanbou ;)
Report Review
From ANON - Mz.Bitz. on September 15, 2005
Awww. The thing with all of your fics is that I always get all built up and then I get this happy feeling inside of me when things work out. LOLs. I don't know it's so weird. EEEEEEE! YAY. ^^;;
Report Review
From ANON - hColleen on September 15, 2005
Yay! Things are getting better :D I'm soooo happy...the next chapter...it has that scene you hinted at in Bugs, ne? Oh, I'm excited about that! I'm so glad the doctor's were fine with Hiei being around...it would have been horrid had they not. Your baby's almost done...what a wonderfully sady, sadly wonderful time...I have mixed feelings...I'm excited to see things coming together....and I'm sad to see them end. Please keep writing, you're wonderful at it :D
Report Review
From ANON - comicfancat on September 15, 2005
Well alright! A really great healing chapter,take a bow you've earned it.It was nice to see Hiei's power help Kurama even if he didn't know it would.And there is always at least one person that can pull someone out of a hospital funk(I and my cat were proud to be that person for someone close to me) it was a nice part and to have his mom see it was even better.You write very well and most(if not all) left me on the edge of my seat this was no exception,well done and I can't wait for the next chapter and look forward to the coming continueation. :)
Report Review
From ANON - Dark Delta on September 15, 2005
WOW awesome chapter really made my day.
"I had to sever a few arms to get this one, but I think the blood all wiped off.� that was a cool line that how i feel when i go buy new books. truly effing wonderful. Just love the lines you give Hiei.
i'll be waiting for the next chapter.
Report Review
From ANON - Vampire Ifurita on September 14, 2005
Yay update! ^__^ *dances around* I loved it as per usual. Oh man, I can't believe its already coming to a close (even though I just started reading it a short time ago). Sooo wonderful! Hiei's little speech about how he felt so helpless was beautiful. It touched me. He is so devoted to his fox, and his fox in turn devoted to him. This story always leaves me speechless after I read some of it, I just lose the words to express how utterly beautiful and perfect it is. I can't wait for the next/last chapter!! *jumps around in anticipation* I just know it will be wonderful! Oh! And as to more in the story/timline arc... I say: SWEET!! (has read Bugs! but hasn't reviewed for some unknown reason) I would so be reading each and every story connected to this one and Bugs! Wonderful job!!! Can't wait for the next chappie!!

(ps- yes, all in one day. Took sooo long, but was soooooo worth it!!)
Report Review
From ANON - Shuichi Shindou on September 14, 2005
Its safe to say I CRIED! I really love your writings and I really hope for more.. Please keep this going for as long as possible! Its SO sweet! love it!
Report Review
From ANON - Mea on September 14, 2005
That was one of the best chapters in the story. It was cute, funny, sad, and touching at the same time. I liked the little bits of humor thrown in there (like when Hiei burned the nurse.^_^) One thing I really liked was the "blink, blink" game (as I call it). It just seemed so cute when that Kurama was asked a question and he would go "blink, blink" for no, or "blink, blink, blink" for yes. Does that sound weird? Oh well, I just thought it was a cute little touch to a wonderful chapter. There were to many things that I liked about this chapter that I can't remember comment about them in this review (I just thought that the "blink, blink" thing was so cute that I had to say something about it. [I might be the only one who commented about it.]) I just want to say that it was a wonderful chapter and please update soon!
Sincerely Mea ^_^
Report Review