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Reviews for Coming Clean

By : mhmartini
  • From ANON - Fuzzy Eared (not signed in) on September 01, 2005
    I'm left completely speechless. I started reading this story a long time ago and gave it up because I remember thinking it was too sappy (some OC), or something. Then I ran across "Bugs" and couldn't get enough of it. When I finally realized that you had actually written this one as a prequel to "Bugs" I couldn't not return here. And now that I am here, I am completely floored by what I had almost forgotten. I was and still am incredibly moved by this story as it is written so far. The precision everything was given was amazing. How did you know all that was necessary for the terribly but wonderfully vivid torture scenes? I can absolutely not wait until your next update.
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  • From ANON - L1zz0 on August 30, 2005
    this story.....is so amazing.....you're an awesome writer, i'm so impressed. i love the direction that you've taken with the hiei/kurama pairing, and i think that this makes them ten times cuter ^^. great job, i can't wait for the next chapter!!!!!
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  • From BlueUtopiah on August 28, 2005
    Too much...too much to review, I think my head is going to pop. OK. I think I know exactly where you cried, beacuse I'm thinking "Don't leave Hiei alone with Kurama's body! What, are you guys stupid!" and then Hiei runs himself through and I'm like "See! I told you!". I loved that whole scene where they held him down and Shiori pulled the sword out of Hiei, I had to read that twice. See - you say my fox torture is more personal, but your portrayal of Hiei and Kurama's realtionship is far more personal, far more emotional, it hits deeper, it's more real.

    The other thing that really struck me is when Hiei pulled the sheet off Kurama's body to show Koenma exactly what happened. It made me cringe. I woke up this morning and I still had that image in my mind. Very effective.

    I also love Hiei's realtionship with Shiori. That's something that doesn't come off right unless it's well-written and approached very carefully, and you did both so well. He does need a mom too, and it's so cute yet heart-wrenching to see him in his interactions with her, especially in this chapter.

    *bows to the Queen of Fox Torture* You've been killing us with all these posts - get some sleep!
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  • From ANON - Mz.Bitz. on August 27, 2005
    That was... just wow. It really felt like my heart was hurting just thinking about Ayame WATCHING as Kurama got tortured, for six days! I mean I can see, yes it was the only thing, but it's like OH MAN. I love all of your works, and this one is no different. I can't wait to see the next chapter.
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  • From ANON - touya4me on August 27, 2005
    Ch. 33
    O.O Wow. That's one of the best stories I've EVER read. It was.... amazing. I absolutely loved all of it! It was so sad when Hiei tried to kill himself, I bawled like a baby. I can't wait 'til you update! I loved your story so much, I don't even have the words to describe how cool it was!
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  • From ANON - Suryallee on August 27, 2005
    Would it be said too much that I want to see Koenma for a day in intaros grasp?
    I really think he should live through that for one day only to see what he have done in real to Kurama and the others too. I was never a fan of torture or something along that line in any fik I know and read, I am just a stupid person who believes in the good of the world. I like the stile you write very much, it kept me reading until now and besides that I would really like to see how this plays out in the end. I believe you when you said you cried by writing this; I would have also and have by one of mine too. In Kuramas place I would kill the prince, that’s for sure!
    But that’s only my silly me. I could say now; How could he or why did he not do something different but in real he had only done what he thought it would be the best. Koenma failed immensely in the task, to be faithful to his friends and himself.
    Poor Koenma, I really sure he has not realised it fully what he did to Kurama and his other friends with that act of him!
    If I am would be them, well lets just say I would never, ever, trust him again!

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  • From ANON - Sil on August 27, 2005
    You sure made me cry with the last 3 chapters, specially with the las t one.I felt like cryin´ the whole time while i was reading it! I could only breath again at the end of the chapter! I have to say that you got perfectly what everyone felt about kurama´s death, it was just so sad, but perfect. Although i don´t like hatanaka, i think he'd should stayed at genkai's. Now, i hope kurama will be back to life soon, and that he and hiei'll be the ones who´ll kill intaro, and i hope he´ll be in a lot of pain!Please, make him suffer a lot!! I really hope he'll get the worse of all hells!
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  • From ANON - Mea on August 27, 2005
    That was..ONE OF THE BEST CHAPTERS I HAVE EVER SEEN! It was sad and cruel,but I loved it! It was one ,of the greatest chapters you have ever writtwn! I love your writing! I will be patiently waiting for the next update. Update Soon!
    Sincerely Mea ^_^
    PS- I didn't cry. I think I have gotten so used to seeing Kurama torture that I am numb to it. But I still loved this chapter! Again, Update Soon!
    PPS- Sorry for the long PS.
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  • From ANON - hColleen on August 27, 2005
    Gods and angels, ...I really can't think of anything else to say....except to add devils and demons....which happens to be the most intense....prayer type thing I can think of...to invoke all the spirits...sorry, this isn't making sense. Gods...maybe I'll know what to say in a week, but right now, I have utterly no clue. I kept thinking, "No, it can't be true" and that it was...a dream...a fancy of an overtaxed mind...but to find out why....gods. I'm sorry, this isn't making sense.
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  • From ANON - shiorifoxiesmom on August 27, 2005
    This is one of my favorite stories and it just keeps getting better. I get excited every time I see an update. Your heart comes shining through in this chapter especially when Hiei calls Shiori 'Kaasan' (I know y).ou heard that in my other review, I just had to say it again Update soon.
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  • From ANON - Dark Delta on August 27, 2005
    Oh my gosh very good plot fucking awesome love the style of writting you have please continue soon
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  • From ANON - comicfancat on August 27, 2005
    How could you,I cried almost all the way through this chapter.I'll bet it was draining,it drained me just to read it even knowing he wasn't going to stay dead from "bugs".And wow Hiei kept more than his cool with Koenma and it wasn't a big surprise that he'd want to join Kurama.Yet I hope you can get past it in yourself so that we can as well in your writting and finish the next chapter.I'm cheering for you with that,plus what a chapter it should be after all Hiei and the gang couldn't tear apart Koenma but oh what they could do to Intaro(may the lashing out continue)A calming yet maybe heart felt chapter also could be the comig week as Kurama's body heals and the first meeting back with Shiori and Hiei I'll look forward to as well.Some how I still feel Koenma needs a small lesson in what he did as well maybe from Kurama himself after all they must come to terms with each other after letting Kurama suffer so.Wow what a hard bunch of chapters to write yet I know you can do it and do it well .All your other chapters and/or stories show this to be true.Looking forward to the next update and hope it isn't to long in coming. :)
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  • From ryukotsusei on August 27, 2005
    Oh man that was an emotional chapter. Awesome job with it, you kept everyone perfectly in character and brought their emotions through as if I was actually there and experiencing it. Wonderful detail and length, I anxiously await the next chapter. Keep up the great work
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  • From ANON - delunatic_aminefan on August 27, 2005
    ...Wow. What else can I say? This last chappie brought me to tears. I had to dry off my keyboard before I could type this. Wow.
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  • From ANON - LadyRain on August 27, 2005
    I am so glad that you updated I so love this story and you
    know what you really did put your heart and soul into this chapter I
    really do love your story.
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