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Reviews for Coming Clean

By : mhmartini
  • From ANON - Ayame-Chan on December 15, 2006
    Omg you don't know how much your story rox!!! u really dont know how much!!! XD
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  • From ANON - mhmartini (not signed in) on July 30, 2006
    Victoria Violet: I can't e-mail the answer because your address is hidden in the review. So all I can do is post it here; I hope you see it. I don't recall ever saying that Hiei would lose the Jagan if Yukina found him out. Other stories have claimed that, but I don't buy into it. Hiei, in my story, hid his identity because he did not want Yukina to know she had a murderous felon for a brother. Hope that clears it up.

    mhmartini
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  • From ANON - Victoria Violet on July 27, 2006
    I have a question from earlier in the story. You said that Hiei would lose his Jagan if his sister found out who her brother is right? Well he never lost it. Is there a reason for this or is this one of those "it just is" scenarios? I've read Coming Clean, Switching, and Bugs and it is never explained. If you have the time could you e-mail me with the answer. I'm curious about why he never lost it. Anyways, Ja ne!

    Victoria Violet
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  • From ANON - BloodRaevynn on June 30, 2006
    “This is my husband, Hatanaka Kazuya, and I am Shiori. Shuuichi Minamino is my son.”
    Well, _that's_ special! Make up your mind whether you're going to use the surname or the given name first!
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  • From ANON - BloodRaevynn on June 29, 2006
    This story is pretty decent so far, except that you just did something that is one of my biggest pet peeves: you referred to Hiei's third eye as "jagan eye." Now, I understand that this isn't your fault, it's the fault of the idiotic commercial translators, but that doesn't change the fact that the term "jagan eye" is completely and utterly _redundant_, since "jagan" alone means "evil eye," the "gan" literally translating as "eyeball" (and "ja" means "evil" obviously), so tacking an additional english "eye" onto the end of it...well...you get my point.
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  • From famous1064 on June 12, 2006
    *bows in awe*

    Wonderful story. God plot, and nice the way you didn't carbon copy others. Great Job.
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  • From ANON - Takhisisss on February 09, 2006
    Wow. This story is something else. You really made me cry with the torture you put Kurama and Hiei through. *sniffles* Eh weel, it was a really great story, I look forward to more wonderful stories.
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  • From ANON - Kurama_is_mine on December 21, 2005
    im on chapter 7 right now and this story is amazing!! you write so beautifully except that Kurama is the wounded one Poor Kurama!!! but great story!!
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  • From ANON - thoth_moon on September 21, 2005
    Review for chapters 20-23:

    At least Kazuya wasn't an ass when they brought Kurama home ^__^ Poor Hiei! But at least Intaro did not break his mind or spirit. But still, I pity him, not even being able to go to the bathroom on his own- I really do not think that I could stand that, except, like Hiei, if perhaps it was someone close, EXTREMELY close, helping.... I hope he recovers soon.
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  • From ANON - thoth_moon on September 21, 2005
    Oh damn it, I posted a similar review twice for 19. Damn it, I'm stupid (the computer screwed up and I thought the first review was deleted before I could post it -__-) And now I'm reviewing a third time over nothing. Sorry, just wanted to clarify that I'm not some moron who posts two very much alike reviews simultaneously for the same chapter ^__^ I'll be getting back to reading now.
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  • From ANON - thoth_moon on September 21, 2005
    Review for chapter 19:

    I told you I was so far behind in reading your story that it wasn't even funny. Being THIS far behind is pathetic! I'm sorry! I've been rather self-absorbed lately story-wise, updating my own but not reading others. I've really missed reading this, but now I've found time to make up for it! Yay!

    Anyways, that stuff at the end, all that Intaro was saying, was... amazing. Extremely warped and creepy, yes, but still poetic, in its own dark way. I really think you did a good job on his character, very Karasu-ish, as I'm sure you intended him to be ^__^ I look forward to seeing what happens next- and I think I'll go find out now XD
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  • From ANON - thoth_moon on September 21, 2005
    Oh man, I'm so far behind. *groans* You want to know how far behind I am? I just finished reading chapter 19. *waits for flying miscellaneous objects* I'm sorry! Really I am! I do admit that I've been rather self-absorbed lately fic-wise, posting mine but not reading others. I've really missed reading this, but now I've found time to! Yay!

    The ending of this chapter, all that stuff that Intaro was saying, was... amazing. Extremely warped and creepy, mind you, but poetic in its own way too. I liked it- I really think you wrote him well, very Karasu-ish, as I'm sure you intended ^__^ I look forward to seeing what happens next- which I believe I'll go find out now XD
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  • From ANON - Suryallee on September 20, 2005
    And finally, the end of your wonderful story.
    I really look foreward to read more from you. I loved this story really much!
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  • From EmbersEye on September 19, 2005
    Amazing as always. I will definitely read any other installments you decide to write for this saga. As far as chapter 36 goes: 1)The spelling, grammar, and tense were off more than is your usual, but nothing incredibly distracting. 2)The little details that you include such as how the doctor was called away for an emergency on the day of Kurama's release really make this story shine. It only added a couple sentences to the length and truly had no actual consequence, but it made the whole situation seem so much more realistic. 3)I really liked how Hiei responded to "Mr. and MRS. Shrimp" with a double mister and Minaminno. Keiko's added paragraph really made the whole moment that much more memorable. It was very fitting all the way around. 4)You really put a lot more thought into their marriage token than most people do in their stories. Your use of the hiruseki stone was also very creative. This is the first instance I've come across where the stone has been altered from its original form. 5)I thought it was funny that you mentioned all the different mating rituals that can be come upon in fanfiction. 6)The instinct necessary for the ceremony was mentioned before it happened, but one still doesn't know its happening until it has already begun. The subtlety of that part was very well done. 6)I really appreciated how, yes, the marks did dissapear after the ceremony, but they could still be felt as was demonstrated when Shiori touched Kurama's neck. That was really something special. 7)I'm in utter awe of this saga.
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  • From EmbersEye on September 19, 2005
    Nice chapter. I feel like anything I would say to compliment your writing has already been said in previous reviews. One criticism, however, is that your tenses were often inconsistent in chapter 35.
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