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Reviews for To Be The Mate Of A Demon

By : Suryallee7104
  • From ANON - steph8503 on July 01, 2006
    :( sorry about my last comment. i didn't know that you did n't know english. but your story is very good and i love the pairing of Jin and Kazuma. :)
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  • From ANON - steph8503 on July 01, 2006
    Im not tring to sound mean or anything by the sentences dont make much scence. But i think the story is great so far. i hope theres more? :)
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  • From ANON - KuwaLove on November 10, 2005
    I loved it! ^_^. That's mean that they all have to leave the human world to the demon world because Koenma has a crush on Kuwa! I hope Koenma will learn that he can't have Kuwa and that he's taken already. (sighs) He'll just never learn, will he? Oh well, I can't blame him, cause Kuwa is very desirable...well I think so anyway ^_~. I loved it and can't wait for more!! ^_^
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  • From ANON - Punisher on November 02, 2005
    I loved this chapater and story. (I've read it for a long time but I couldn't find where to reveiw, I'm such a baka.) You're a great writer and I can't want for more! Go Jin/Kuwabara stories! They rock!
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  • From ANON - Kagami Kreiser on October 31, 2005
    (sniff, sob) That was so beutiful. I loved it! Please update asap! My heart i swaiting for the conclution to this beutiful romance between a human and a demon.
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  • From YaoiGoddess on October 26, 2005
    I absolutely loved it! But at the same time I feel sorry for Koenma...if only there was someone for him to love as well. Anyway, lovely story, I really enjoyed reading it. ^^
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  • From ANON - Katzztar on September 24, 2005
    There's no question about it, I DO enjoy this story.That's why I didn't check off the other chapters, I wanted to read them first so I can enjoy them. Than and also I saw in your notes that you're getting help with a beta on those chapters.

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  • From Suryallee7104 on September 23, 2005
    Thank you so much katzztar chan, I have to work on alot, sorry as it is.
    Happy that you seem to like it!
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  • From ANON - Katzztar on September 23, 2005
    Hiyas Suryallee, It's me again. I'm glad to see this again.
    It's improved a lot from the first dreaft I saw. There are a few mistakes. Instead of just saying there are some, I'll show you what slipped through ;)

    Ch.1=
    ""It where now three and a half fucking years!! Since he saw his human the last time, back there at the island. ""`
    Where does not fit into the sentence structure. "It was now three and a half fucking years!"


    ""The toddler made also very sure that he and the others could not leave the training grounds for only one second.""
    Actually everything is spelled correctly, The wording needs to be changed to sound correctly.=
    "The toddler made sure that he and the others could not leave the training grounds, not even for one second."
    OR
    "Also, the toddler made certain that he and the others could not leave the training grounds for one second."

    ""No one could cool the wind demon down from his anger and in the end their sect had to restrain him for a wile! ""
    That should be 'had to restrain him for awhile!'


    ""Kurama reacted more calmly, and asked around in gandistra and his spies; if anybody knew a way to get the wind demon into the ningenkai.""
    Since Gandistra is the name of a city, it should be capitalized.

    Okay one word that gave you the most trouble in Ch. 1 is threat, threaten, threatened, ect. It is the main word that is constantly misplelled. I gave the corrections below, I hope they help you out :)

    ""He simply treated him into his service with the treat to strip his spirit powers from Kazuma along with his memory""
    That should be "threatened him into his service". Since it is one sentence there is no need to say threat again. Also it's a good idea to state thier names so we can see sho's who in the sentece. It would look better as=
    "Koenma threatened Kazuma into his service by saying he would strip his spirit powers along with his memories."

    ""It needed Shizurus following tread back to make Koenma realise that he had gone a little to fare.""
    that is threat not thread.... LOL only one letter off ;)

    ""He gave in and gave his approval to Kazumas wish for some partners. But it needed Hiei, Kurama and Yusuke to treat Koenma to choose Jin to be one of them!"" Opps, to treat a person it to give them a reward. To give a threat is to promise to cause harm to someone.


    ""If this yokai made any move to get the young man as his mate, Kazuma would be lost for him!""
    If this youkai made any move to get the young man as his mate, Kazuma woould be lost to him.



    ""So the toddler prince gave his ok to Kazumas choose of people and made a deal with Touyas and Jins sect and asked the two human territory user Kino (?) and Mitarai if they wanted to work for him as detectives.""
    Oaky first off, I'm not sure who you're talking about with ?Kino? What is is power, then I could tell which one he is. Aslo the speeling os okay but the story would look better if okay is spelled out instead of shortened. The s behind the names are not needed in that form. Since it is their sect, possession needs to be shown such as in the exampe = '...and made a deal with touya and Jin's sect...'


    ""He gave with his new position the silently chuckling watcher in the midair outside of his window, a very nice look of his nice ass in his red boxers.""
    The form doesn't make sence, I had to read it three times to figure it out. The easiest way to fix it is to switch the words to new locations.
    'He gave a very nice view of his ass in his red boxers with his new position to the silently chuckling watcher in midair outside of his window.'



    ""Now he could not waist any more time, dammed!""
    'Now he could not waste any more time, damn it!'













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  • From KuwaLover on September 23, 2005
    Yay! That was beautiful ^_^. I loved it!! Excellent job! If you are continuing this then I can't wait for the next chapter ^_^. If not, then I am soooo happy you made this and I love it!! ^_^
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  • From KuwaLover on July 09, 2005
    Totally understandable. i get those sometimes. That was great! It was defintly worth the wait! I can't believe Koenma would sink so low! I hope Kuwabara does the right thing! Oh and I hope Hiei and Kurama are able to hide them for awhile! Please update soon!
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  • From ANON - The Green Knight on July 09, 2005
    Love it! Now if somebody I know would hurry up and finish with the chapters that she is supposed to be working with! Grrr... Altar, if you don't hurry... grrr.

    Just joking. I can wait.
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  • From ANON - Cammi on July 09, 2005
    Not bad, can you please finish it? I would love to read more.
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  • From Suryallee7104 on June 22, 2005
    Huh?
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  • From ANON - The Green Knight on June 22, 2005
    Holy Snapple Batman! I forgot to rate the story! I am a retard! Sorry Sury-chan!
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