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Reviews for Mo-zoku Mating Season

By : koorinoinu
  • From ANON - kit-kit on October 04, 2005
    nice thats alot better.
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  • From ANON - Nekosune on October 04, 2005
    Cool! Good lemon for a beginner! Cookies and pocky for you! And I'll give you yamyams if you update soon! ^_^
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  • From ANON - kit-kit on October 03, 2005
    nice but you need to work on your formats. when you write use only quotation marks for everybody but give everybody there own paragraph and to tell who's talking say who talking.
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  • From ANON - Altar of Wishes on October 02, 2005
    Hey Green Knight, if you wait long enough Keiko will become Lilith!Keiko and Kuwa will become ZOMG-sp3shul-N33dz!Kuwabara!1!1!!
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  • From ANON - The Green Knight on October 02, 2005
    *is applying several medicines to Keiko* Man, Keiko must really be running a fever here! I've never seen her act so strange and pyschotic before, have you? I better check her out for illegal substances...
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  • From ANON - kit-kit on October 02, 2005
    good story so far i can't wait to see what happens next
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  • From ANON - The Green Knight on October 02, 2005
    Your format is hard to read. We as readers shouldn't have to remember what brackets indicate who is speaking. You should give each speaker their own paragraph, large or small. It WOULD help readers understand what you're writing, you know what I mean?

    Another thing, and this is what Altar pointed out to me when I used to bash Kuwa-sama, there were a lot of pretty girls that Kuwabara has seen while being in love with Yukina. HE DID NOT HIT ON THEM *coughs loudly*, so why would he want to hit on Yusuke's female (or any other woman) form while with Yukina when canoncally he never would have?

    *gives Kuwa therapy and anti-OOC pills*
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  • From ANON - The Green Knight on October 02, 2005
    *takes Keiko out of the author's reach* Okay. Now I can enjoy this.
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