Adult-FanFiction.org : YuYu Hakusho

Reviews for Rescuing Hiei

By : 66Hiei08

From kerbear on February 13, 2008
Yusuke or not I think Shishi is perfect for Hiei.Yet they still have so much to go through.
I don't think you should change anything,plus its your story we may have our own ideas but in the end
its what your mind wants.I look forward to what ever else you have planned yet I hope it won't send
Hiei or Shishi over the edge.It would be to hard a road to come back off of.
Nice Job
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From thothmoon on February 13, 2008
Nice interlude. They needed an opportunity to sit back and be a family ... that's not living in the upstairs of a whore-house.

But you say don't get too comfortable, hm? Shishi refers to their marks--I wonder if they'll encounter any adversity over them? I know what was said in the previous chapter, but still.
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From BlueUtopiah on February 13, 2008
Although I do find the Hiei/Shishi pairing likeable and very endearing, I do hope that Hiei does from some kind of relationship with Yusuke and Kurama. And hell - throw Shishi in there with them as well, I don't mind. :D

And I echo Thoth_moon's sentiment about the boys: it's so cute the way Hiei clicks at them and they hiss. There like little kitties that way and it's so adorable.

I'm enjoying this story, and I say don't change your written word for anyone. Although I expressed an opinion above on who ends up with who, what you have written is yours, and you shouldn't change it for anybody.
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From thothmoon on February 13, 2008
Well I'm glad you've resolved how you were going to continue. As I said before: you write it how you feel it should be, and people can deal with it.

This chapter in particular, I can't see many people finding much fault with. Hiei's little banter regarding the twins was funny--I haven't remarked yet, but I love how you make them hiss and stuff! It's the same sort of cat-like reference that always came to mind when Sabaktu was featured!--, and it's nice to see that he and Shishi are advancing on the healing process.
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From thothmoon on February 13, 2008
Ah, a subtle, but conflictive, scene. Shall be interesting how Hiei's Jagan sorts everything for him, and what he may do after.

So according to your A/Ns in this one, the last couple of chapters are deviant from what you originally wrote? Hm--I do like them, don't mistake me there, but hm ... The way to answer the question you pose, is that I would be happy with whatever YOU at this point consider the story's unadulterated version. This isn't like a radio station; you write it how it feels like it should be to you, not to cater to the requests of the reviewers. Reviews are supposed to say yea (or nay, whatever, good with bad) to what's been written, not to demand it be twisted to suit them, no?
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From mhmartini on February 13, 2008
If you're feeling divided, write what is inside you. You'll never satisfy all your readers, and in the end, satisfying your need to express this story is the most important part of writing it. If your muse has changed from your original vision, then go with it. But if you're forcing changes to accommodate your audience, then you may want to take a step back and reevaluate where you are and where you're going. It's your story.

I love the story overall, but there are points I'd have done differently. That's why I like reading it. It's yours, and you are in control of what happens; I'm just along for the ride. If you feel you are losing that control, then take your time and plan your next move. If that means going back to the paper version, then do that. If not, the keep plunging forward. We'll still read it as long as you don't sway too far OOC or go completely off the deep end with it. But you've changed the characters so far in a believable way, so even though they are out of their original character, it's more of an evolution than straight up OOC.

Do what you feel you must to keep this story yours and so you can be happy and proud of it when you are done.
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From ryukotsusei on February 13, 2008
This has definitely been an interesting story to be certain. BlueUtopiah was the one who recommeded that I read it and I haven't been disappointed. The script format is a bit hard to read, but I've gotten to the point where I can overlook that. I'm going to have to go against the grain here though with everyone elses opinions concerning Hiei. He's been through a lot yes, but I'm sincerely hoping someone knocks some sense into him so he can return to Yusuke. If they want to add Shishi into the mix, fine, but I can't just see Yusuke letting him go like that.
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From kerbear on February 12, 2008
Well hell why wouldn't Kurama feel this way with the way Yusuke is acting about all this.Poor Yusuke may have to let Hiei go all together.Whats that old saying "if you love something let it go if it doesn't come back it
was never ment to be yours)Hiei has alot to work through and Yusuke isn't used to waiting around for what he wants.What a mess for everyone.What a great job on this story of the set.I look forward to the next set
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From thothmoon on February 12, 2008
Now this will be intriguing to watch--they both still want Hiei, but it might be best to cut him loose, and add their polygamous thoughts with Shishi's monogamy (knew Yusuke was tense with him, but geez!)... I'm really not one hundred per cent on how you'll play this out, because from where I sit it there's a chance of it going one way or the other, though perhaps not equally. Hm....

Oh, and the LJ: I'm unsure if it's mentioned elsewhere, but Blue and I talked about it here: http://thoth-moon.livejournal.com/125986.html
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From mhmartini on February 11, 2008
Hey, I'm still reading. I just did not have a chance to review for a while. I am enjoying the roller coaster and I look forward to seeing how Hiei pulls through this, if he does. But you've already said he's your favorite, so I think he will.

LiveJournal, as BlueUtopiah said, is a blog site where you can post an online journal and comment in other people's journals. We have a little group of YYH fanfic authors there. It's free to set up a journal, and if you do, let us know your username so we can all blog together.
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From kerbear on February 11, 2008
I feel you did great in what they are all feeling.After so long in captivity it would be hard not flinch and
be overly protective with the beings you remember were in it with you.Its going to be a looong road of recovery if at all.At least Hiei knew Yusuke and recalls he is the babies father,if Yusuke can remain calm(fat chance)that could be the in needed to reach Hiei.Wow,lots of thoughts and feelings on these chapters and I can't wait for the next set of chapters.Your making it a very rough ride for all concerned but I think its right on the mark. Great job
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From thothmoon on February 11, 2008
Hm, Kurama's the nurturing one, but I think I sense some tension directed toward Shishi from Yusuke... Well, Yusuke's tense with Koenma also, but that one was pretty much a given, even if Koenma is doing his job. Poor guy--there's always a stressed-out office dude, hm?

About the LJ--everything that Blue said. Example: mine is http://thoth-moon.livejournal.com (I *think* that's on my profile, but I don't remember; might be a sign that I should check out my profile, eh?)

So I'm hurling deep questions at you, am I? ^__^ Well, take it as a good thing; it probably means that your writing is deep, and so the consequent questions would mimick the content. And now, I hope that Shishi can go in there and make things at least a smidget (smidget? word? Shall check) better for Hiei; it'd be nice if he'd go back to his own name at least.

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From BlueUtopiah on February 11, 2008
LiveJournal is a blogging site. There's a bunch of us Yu Yu Hakusho authors over there and we talk about the boys and fanfiction. It's a very cool meeting place. My LJ is listed in my profile page, just click on the link (unfortunately, I have it locked so you can't see most of the entries unless you have an LJ, but you will see some and get the general idea.)

You know, Koenma is getting some crap from Yusuke, but he has a job to do, and he's very powerful. If he doesn't ask the hard questions he's not going to be able to solve the problems. I've always liked Koenma, especially when he's characterized right, and you've done well with him.
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From BlueUtopiah on February 11, 2008
Like Thoth_moon, I kind of feel badly for Dasan. He was just trying to do what he had to and he actually did help Hiei when he could. I liked the fight scene with Hiei, Shishi, and the demons and those twins are adorable! I love how they defended Hiei and Shishi with their little spirit guns. They're really Yusuke and Hiei's kids, without a doubt.

But Hiei is broken, he's retreated deep within himself and I'm looking forward to how they get him to feel well again. Yusuke's a tenacious guy anyway and he won't give up. Did I mention how much I love the angst in this?

Don't worry about lack of reviews, a lot of people are reading even though they don't review, a few of us over on livejournal have been discussing this story so I'm sure it's been making the rounds. My review still counts, right?
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From thothmoon on February 11, 2008
Well now, Stage One, complete, Stage Two, in motion. Kind of have to pity Dasan a little, since the bind he was in was similar to Hiei's, but his was also a necessary death, eh?

Now, I wonder how Ichiro and Jiro will react to the intro of a third (and fourth, if counting Kurama?) parent to the mix, how Shishi will correlate with the Hiei-Yusuke-Kurama dynamic, and what's going to happen to Yomi...? *ponders* Well, I'm lookinh forward to what happens next, to be sure!

Oh, and I get the explanation of Oblivion. Just ... for folk like Rinku and Sabaktu, but not so ... for Satjiyu or Kichiro (is that where he went to?). It reminds me a little of in the movie, talking about banishing the king of the Netherworld to "the emptiness [or was it darkness?] or space", no?
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