rate_review Reviews

The line length is much better. The last paragraph seems to get kind of incoherent & garbled though.

Well the plot seems pretty good, the chapters are really short though, you could probably combine 4 to 6 chapters of the length you have & make 1 decent sized chapter. I have no idea why but the line width is so long that there's a large bottom slide bar & it's rather annoying to have to scroll over to read the end of each line. Also it's kind of rough spelling/grammar/word choice-wise, I'd see about sending it to a competent beta if you can find one for a bit of clean up & polish.