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October 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I think the problem is not that it's badly written - it really isn't - but rather that you elected to use a vague, nondescript sort of individual as your main character. The truth is that since she has no background or personality to speak of, no one will care about her. If you want to do a short piece like a song fic, you should probably stick to the familiar characters. Save your OC inventions for the longer stories where you can flesh them out... but even then, you need to avoid those Mary Sue qualities like the plague. ^_^