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September 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
=D This was an awesome story! Really great! I liked the ending, heheh. Kurama's fanclub must have been disappointed when he and Hiei became a couple!
I also spy a slight Yu-gi-oh! crossover xD
I also spy a slight Yu-gi-oh! crossover xD
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October 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love your story please update it
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September 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Quite an interesting AU thus far. There were a few slight errors: you at one point refer to Hiei as a third human, but genetics don't really do thirds; rather, halves, quarters, eighths, so forth. Also you'll phrase things like "down pass" Kurama's balls or "the pass" however many months, when that should be "past," but these aren't egregious and so not a huge deal.
I loved their fight-then-sex scene. That would be so like those two. And like Kyo Hana said above, it is interesting to observe this slightly more "normal" by our standards Hiei. I wonder if you're going to include details on his family, since I don't imagine most 15-year-old boys live on their own all the time. Also I like your little satirical references, such as to the YouTube series and the "if this were an anime I'd be sweat dropping" bit ^-^
I loved their fight-then-sex scene. That would be so like those two. And like Kyo Hana said above, it is interesting to observe this slightly more "normal" by our standards Hiei. I wonder if you're going to include details on his family, since I don't imagine most 15-year-old boys live on their own all the time. Also I like your little satirical references, such as to the YouTube series and the "if this were an anime I'd be sweat dropping" bit ^-^
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September 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I thoroughly enjoyed this first chapter. I liked the AU and seeing Hiei function in the human world as a 'normal' teenager. And Yusuke doing the 'monkey dance' was just classic!