Adult-FanFiction.org : YuYu Hakusho

Nothing So Simple	By : Ping Category: Yuyu Hakusho > Yaoi - Male/Male > Yusuke/Hiei Views: 2710 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Nothing So Simple
- 1
Ping- My second YYH fic! ^_^

Drunky- On a roll!

Druggy- Oh good, I got the munchies...

Ping- For all that I am a raging KuwabaraxYusuke whore, I had to do
this.

Disclaimer- Yoshihiro Togashi is the man, I am a humble fan who
buys as much merchandise as my pathetic bank account allows. So that should
make up for me ::ahem:: 'borrowing' his creations for a while. No harm
no foul, this is all in fun. I'll put them back when I'm done, though there's
no guarantee they'll be in one piece.

Drunky- Or their clothes...
Warnings: Incomplete, Language, Stay tuned for more
Pairings: HieixYusuke
Notes: This fic is a gift for Suki, my beta. ^_^ Because despite
her threat to tear me a new one when going over my fics, she's had lots
of good stuff to say. So for you, Suki, my beta-bitch, a Hiei seme fic
for you. ^x^ And I decided to break this one into chapters, instead of
holding onto it until it was done like my last monster. That and my spellcheck
fizzles out if my document is over 10 pages.
AU: A slightly different take on the missing Artifacts of Darkness.
Hiei is in Spirit World with his, and the others are really unimportant.
^^* That's all that I've really changed, besides mentioning recent previous
detectives that don't really exist. Other than that, I'm really trying
to keep it all together and in character.

Nothing So Simple

If Yusuke'd had any idea it would be that long of a trip, in that kind
of unbearable humidity, over such rotten terrain, he figured he would have
told the toddler to go soil his Pampers and spend his weekend relaxing
instead. As it stood, he was too far away from the palace to voice his
belated thoughts, so cursed himself instead as he nearly twisted his ankle
for the umpteenth time on sliding rocks.
Once the ground stopped sliding beneath his feet and he regained his
balance, he stooped and hefted a large rock, throwing it as far as he could
with an outraged cry. He could just break something right now, and
he would if the only thing available wasn't a load of stupid rocks! He
nearly fell again, reminding himself that his bones were a prime candidate,
but not really something he would want to snap, especially when so far
from any sign of life.
Three hundred and sixty degrees- nothing but gracks cks from the size
of a pea to a city bus. Nothing.
Yusuke sighed as he plopped securely down on one of the larger stones
nearby, running his fingers through his hair as he huffed and puffed, pouting
without the benefit of an audience to bitch at. He sighed again and flopped
his arms lazily, picking up the practically nonexistent breeze on his sweaty
skin, cursing the blasted sun nearly as many times as he had almost broken
his neck.
"Ahhh... How the hell did I let that brat talk me into this..." He mumbled
to himself, wishing harder for a nice cold drink then he ever had before
in his life.
After resting his eyes from the glaring sun for a moment Yusuke slapped
his thighs and stood, looking around again, though he knew exactly what
he'd see. Steeling himself- as well as his joints- he continued to carefully
pick his way down the steep hill, praying it wasn't much farther and vowing
revenge against a certain pacifier sucking employer.
As he walked, Yusuke was left with nothing left to do, but think.
Yusuke did not like to think.
He rubbed his temples as thinking that he didn't like to think gave
him a headache.
He thought back to when this whole mess started. He had just blown off
Takenaka with a pretty old school trick that still floored the old fart,
walking around down town, minding his own business- when a soccer ball
rolled to him. He picked it up, explaining to the small boy that ran to
him that he was basically an idiot for playing ball so close to a busy
street. The kid, having at his age the brain of a dog, just stared blankly
at him. 'Street?' What is this 'street' that you speak of?... It didn't
matter, he had something of a soft spot for kids, anyway. They never nagged
him or told him what to do, or really even cared about anything at all
outside of their own little world. Yusuke smiled, remembering briefly and
fondly of when he was like that... It hadn't lasted, of course- life sucks.
So he entertained the kid with stupid faces, feeling appreciated for
the first time in who knows how long, ignoring the strange looks he was
getting from passersby. Adults- who needed 'em? The kid laughed, people
stared, Yusuke let loose his bad-boy image, and all was right with the
world. But, as with all things, he didn't want to spend too long, or put
too much effort into any one thing- someone might catch him unawares. He
handed the boy his ball back, reminding him of the danger- and damning
himself for sounding like a stupid grown up- uselessly, he found, as no
sooner had he crossed the street than the little crap was at it again.
They may be all pure and innocent and junk, but kids were as dumb as
dirt, sometimes. Figuring it really wasn't his business at all if he planted
his face on someone's windshield, Yusuke walked away. The street was busy-
the sidewalks teemed with the noisy life of shoppers and tourists and people
on lunch break, all talking and working and enjoying themselves, oblivious
to the outside world. Engines hummed and horns honked, but for some odd
reason, Yusuke could distinctly hear the sound of the soccer ball bouncing,
over all the commotion. He felt the urge to turn his head and did, just
in time to see the red car racing jaggedly down the road, right towards
the little boy.
It was almost... destiny.
With a shout, he had leapt- as if it were the most natural thing in
the world. He didn't even have time to think, as he shoved the kid out
of the way. His vision darkened, before he even felt it- as if a piano
had fallen from the sky, like in those stupid cartoons, slamming into his
side and shoulder so hard he felt his organs lurch, his bones creak, and
then it hit his back and head.
Yusuke blinked, feeling no hint of pain as he looked about, eyes finally
resting on a body on the pavement that looked far too much like himself
to register at all in his mind.
The rest was a little foggy. Once he realized he was dead, thanks to
the world's most annoying image of Death brought to life- well, sort of-
it was all a surreal blur.
If he thought back hard enough, Yusuke reasoned as he sidestepped a
rather odd shaped boulder, he could clearly recall his wake, the nasty
teachers and students ruining the lawn he was forced to mow every once
and a while. His mom, first motionless, then crying, then blaming him-
like she always did. He could remember Kuwabara's emotional outburst, and
all the stupid tricks he had to perform just to nearly lose Keiko, as she
risked her life for his worthless hide.
Koenma had been more than a shock to him, but at that time, when he
gave up his spirit egg and thought he had no way to return to his body
after all of that goody-two-shoe crap, the diminutive ruler had pissed
him off beyond reason- playing with his head like that.
You're dead.
You're not.
You're dead.
You're not.
Happiness finally won over, even though for the longest time- since
he was six years old, as a matter of fact- Yusuke had often laid in bed
at night with an empty belly and an even more empty heart, wishing he were
dead. As the years went by and he grew, so did the rift between himself
and his mother, her love for alcohol and partying finally forming a very
real barrier between himself and her life- what she wanted and what she
was stuck with. Some childhood. He had to be the most miserable person
in the world. Finally, he realized as his body began to grow from the shorter,
finer boned child into a muscular youth, that violence was an effective
cure all, much like sake was to Atsuko.
To each his own.
As time went on, he found that fighting not only helped to relieve his
frustration with the cruelties of a pitiless world, but it could also be
fun. He became good, eventually the best, and when he was in a particularly
nasty mood, it did his inner demons good to see his peers run for the hills-
even the girls, though he'd never hit one. Unless he had to. Which was
still debatable- Keiko could protect herself, and he wondered if all girls
could slap like that.
Keiko was the one friend he had, and even she never really understood
his situation- she treated him like every adult in his life did. Always
nagging, always bossing him around.
Just last summer, when his voice lowered and a fascinating transformation
occurred below the belt, he actually started to look at Keiko as more than
a friend- she didn't know it, of course. He'd be peeling himself off the
sidewalk if she knew the dreams of her we awoke to, finding himself sticky
and tingly all over. On more than one occasion, he thought he'd try and
put the moves on her, since she was the most likely candidate for a date,
though she didn't exactly have a killer rack like some other girls their
age, but his insecurities would rise up and seize him, and he'd turn it
all into a joke or some show of sexist piggishness. (A term he had heard
from her, describing him, more than once.)
Keiko was much like his mom- a promising girl who needed anything but
Yusuke around to ruin her life.
But being friends was good, even though they were slowly drifting apart
as Keiko followed her gifted mind to a promising future, leaving Yusuke
behind to the cold realization that he really was destined to an
early death, because nothing waited for him in the future.
This was why he hated to think- thinking meant remembering, and his
life sucked the first time around- rehashing after the passage of time
didn't help.
Yusuke picked up his speed a little, catching the promising sight of
something not gray in the distance.
If he let himself feel too sorry for himself, he just might try
that whole afterlife thing again, only with a more intended ticket this
time. But he kept himself aware of the fact that if he took the coward's
way, Kuwabara- though they had become closer- would have his title
of the most worst, biggest, baddest punk at Sariashiki Junior High, forever.
That, and he could never punch anybody again. Well, except maybe some office
workers oenmoenma's, but where was the fun in that? He'd have to start
from scratch to get his reputation back...
This brought to mind the other half of his new life. Koenma, impotent-
or omnipotent or something...- ruler of the Spirit Realm, had 'elected'
him to become a Spirit Detective for this bland world. Just signed him
up without asking, saying he 'owed' the little man.
He reminded himself over and over- moreso since this little trek had
begun- that he never asked for any of it. But, as he already knew, life
sucked and the world- this one, too - was a bitch. So he listened as Koenma
gave him his first assignment, quite without any training, which really
cheesed Botan off.
Hell forbid they lose him and sucker another human into doing the job!
Yusuke rolled his eyes. Gods were so freakin' lame. Koenma didn't hide
the fact that he didn't like him, and Yusuke could care less since he never
wanted a job anyway, let alone one that involved being ordered around by
a freakin' jerk that still breast fed. Though his little spirit gun was
a pretty neat trick he would have never known without the intervention
of his supervisor, and paying that bastard teacher back was an added
bonus. Yusuke could think all kinds of horrible stuff about his mom- but
he had a real problem with other people saying it. What with all the crap
at school, the fact that despite his miraculous resurrection, his mom was
still the same- though he was sure she put up a token attempt- and the
looks he was getting from people which were once a source of pride, now
a real irritation, he was almost excited to hear he'd be venturing around
the Spirit Realm for a while, looking for something called the Sword of
Darkness.
Ooo~oooo, spooooky.
Lame.
There was also something called the Orb of Baast and the Forlorn Hope,
but apparently something had gone wrong, and the orb and hope-thingy haden ren returned, without the world ending. Botan gossiped to him about the
strangeness of it all, but Yusuke really couldn't force himself to give
a rat's ass. Luckily, Botan was a somewhat clever girl and it didn't take
her long to pick up on his apathy and shut the hell up about it.
So now, three days into a seemingly endless journey, Yusuke was severely
regretting ever accepting the assignment. Well, he hadn't been given a
choice, but he could have just refused and gotten his spiritual ass fried
to a crisp- end of problem.
Still, he was proud and even if just to spite Koenma, Yusuke decided
to stick around and cause as much damage as resurrected-humanly possible.
"OH THANK GOOOOOOD!" Yusuke collapsed onto his knees, then his face
in the cool, shaded grass of a forest, sprung up out of nowhere. Rock met
grass in a confusing fusion that Yusuke didn't give a damn about. Magic,
supernatural forces, whatever- the shade, soft ground and suddenly steady,
cool breeze was better than any wet dream he'd ever had and he moaned long
and loud as he spread his tired limbs over the first non-rocky surface
in three days and two nights.
He laid there for a long time, feeling his skin rise with goosebumps
as the wind dried the sweat on his skin and played with his hair. He breathed
in the scent of green, perking suddenly when he also smelled something
dank- water.
He rose stiffly and lumbered farther into the forest, the trees and
underbrush becoming thicker and darker the deeper he went, and Yusuke had
to fight through the foliage with several muttered curses before he burst
into a clearing, tripping on loose sand and falling face first into a stream.
Where he lay, Yusuke began to greedily gulp the frigid water as it encompassed
his head and neck, not moving until his air had run out. Breaking the surface
of the water, Yusuke took deep gulps of air, as he had the water, then
returned his lips to the shining surface, slurping his fill.
Once his belly was almost painfully full, he stood and finally took
in his surroundings. Perhaps it was the sudden respite from unrelenting
sunlight, but the plant life seemed black, not green, and every now and
then Yusuke would hear a rustling behind him. He spun to look over his
shoulder, seeing only the leaves of a bush settle, before the sound returned,
only in front of him. The game growing boring and painful for his neck,
Yusuke trudged through the stream to the other side, emerging with jeans
soaked to the knees and tattered white sneakers that squished when he walked.
The sounds continued around him, more rusting, almost likesperspers, and
the sound of scurrying feet and flapping wings.
Putting on his game face, Yusuke stalked through the woods, not really
knowing where he was going but enjoying the change of scenery enough to
not care for the moment. Koenma hadn't given him a whole lot of info about
the assignment- he had one week, had to get this sword that supposedly
created demons, and destroy it's abductor. No problem- he could take his
time and rest today then spend one day kicking demon ass and getting the
sword, then three days trek back.
That was seven days, right?
His headache came back- this was as much of a break as he'd been allowed
since his whole 'ordeal' and here he was, wasting his time with math!
He cursed himself and batted at a low limb, untying his green jacket
from around his waist as brambles snagged on it. He soon had to put the
jacket on, as the forest grew increasingly dark, cool and noisy. He ignored
the strange sounds as he plodded on, his sneakers still squilching with
each step over fallen, rotten logs or muddy pits and deep, dark holes.
He shuddered slightly, the abrupt change from almost constant heat to such
dank coolness so shocking to his body that he began to feel feverish. He
idly wondered if maybe he hadn't picked up a few life forms from that water,
swimming around happily in his gut, just waiting to burst out of his chest
like in that alien movie. He felt eyes on him from all directions, but
paid no attention, reaching into his pocket and retrieving his comb, slicking
his hair back out of his face. The feeling of being watched never left
him, as he walked, but he ignored it intently, trying to come up with something
to do to pass the time besides more thinking.

**********

He lowered his head, three eyes staring unblinkingly ahead. At the foot
of his throne, his sentry knelt, a smug look of satisfaction on his wart
covered and leathery face, that he had been the first to report this news
to his lord.
He didn't much like that look- none of them were actually needed, they
were just there to take care of things too small and unimportant or that
he had no interest in. Without sparing a glance, he summoned a small ball
of black fire and cast it to the demon, engulfing the pathetic creature
in tortuous heat before it disintegrated entirely.
He smirked as all his other demon legions cowered and shifted nervously.
Taking up the thin, white strip from his lap, the spiky haired koorime
closed his jagan eye on the intruder in his forest and retied the sash
around his forehead.
Another low-level demon stepped forward, bowing respectfully.
"Lord Hiei, would you like my men and I to take care of this trespasser?"
Hiei glared, causing the warrior to flinch. "You are a fool. Can you
not sense the aura of Koenma surrounding him? He's from the palace- a new
detective, no doubt, come to save the world." He snorted. "Even with your
entire band you wouldn't stand a chance."
The demon looked chagrined and bowed lower. Hiei scoffed. "But of course
you wouldn't know that, you're too simple to do little more than talk.
No... I think I'll take this one on..."
"And destroy him like all the others!" An exuberant cry rang out from
the throng of demons lining the hall of his throne room.
Hiei did not reply, merely stood and slowly walked down the steps, all
entities in the hall bowing their foreheads to the floor as he passed.
'Rocks make such pathetic demons...' Hiei idly thought as he left the hall,
taking his newly acquired sword from the proffered hands of a servant.
He smiled suddenly, a look the servant did not like, as he hurriedly left
the master alone in the front entryway of the grand palace.
This detective was different than the others. He reeked not only of
great power, but of a greenness- an ineptitude to use his abilities to
the fullest. Thet wot would be exciting, the torture thrilling, and the
disassembly of yet another one of Koenma's pathetic humans would be most
delightful- it had been so boring, lately... And then, once his thirst
for battle and carnage was sated, he could sit back and watch from afar,
the look on Junior's face as his peon was sent to him, piece by bloody
piece.
With an even more feral grin, Hiei winked out of existence.

**********

"Gotcha!" Yusuke slapthe the back of his neck, crushing the doomed form
of a blood-sucking insect beneath his palm. Yusuke had not the time to
celebrate the kill before another buzzing pest was dive-bombing his face
before alighting on his arm, only to meet the same fate. He had not dried
off, the forest now more humid and the plant life more spaced out and lean,
and so he was again miserably hot, with his clothes tightly hugging his
frame. But he dared not remove any clothing, as it served as one more barrier
between him and those that would eat him alive. He had been inundated with
swarms of insects since he had left the water's edge, and it was almost
enough to drive him back to the water just to escape them all.
He growled and attempted to ignore them all- again- as he tromped through
another bush, sending up another cloud of dozens of the wretched creatures.
He frowned and clenched his fists, about to open fire on them all, his
limited arsenal be damned, when suddenly, they were gone.
Yusuke blinked for a moment, confused, before noticing that all around
him, not only had the bugs gone, but the noises as well- no rustling of
life or wind, no screeching of birds or croaking of frogs. All that remained
was the sound of his heavy breathing, the mud slowly swallowing the soles
of his shoes, and the sensation of being watched.
The feeling of eyes boring into the back of his head was so eerily tangible,
that hairs at the nape of Yusuke's neck rose and he spun, fists up and
ready to fight, eyes scanning the trees.
He heard a faint, deep voiced laugh and searched more frantically for
the source.
"Koenma must be going mad, sending me a detective that can't even sense
my energy... You were facing the right way before, human." The voice was
full of mirthful scorn, causing Yusuke to narrow his eyes and growl as
he turned again, silently angry at the taunting words and the truth of
them. "Tell me, is he really so desperate that he'd send me a mere... child?"
"What!?" Yusuke barked, more defensive and determined to find the voice
than ever. "Why don't you show your stinkin' self, you coward, and say
that to my face!"
"Tsk, tsk. Like a sheep to the slaughter- how could you possibly hope
to defeat me- you can't even find me." More dry laughter and Yusuke growled
again, low in his throat. The laughing slowly faded and Yusuke twirled
on his heel as the entire forest seemed to burst into life, movement and
noise completely surrounding him, as if a tornado had touched down, tearing
plants- roots and all- up and away, creating a large clearing. Yusuke shielded
his face with his arms until the wind died down. He lowered his arms, covertly
looking around.
"Pathetic."
"Show yourself!" He commanded with a voice firmer than his knees felt.
Des his his bravado and expertise at fighting junior high kids, he'd never
actually faced a demon before, and this one seemed to be pretty confident.
"Hm. Should I waste my time and reveal myself, or should I just skin
you alive..." Without waiting for any kind of response, Hiei appeared,
several yards away from the detective, Yusuke finally catching sight of
him. "Ah, what the hell. You humans always did like to stare death in the
face, anyway."
"Sorry, pal, but Death is a loudmouthed, nosy chick with blue hair-
and you don't have the tits."
Hiei quirked a brow, the corner of his mouth rising. "The ferry girl
isn't the only one with a big mouth."
"Uh..." The wide-eyed human drawled, finally looking at his opponent,
pointing a finger in his direction. "Who are you?"
Hiei narrowed his eyes and crouched into a fighting stance. "Since this
is my forest, I don't have to answer that. It wouldn't make a difference
anyway- you'll be dead before it would have any meaning for y-" Hiei blinked,
eyes wide, and straightened as the human laughed- yes, laughed at
him. Shock worn off, Hiei became enraged, his red eyes piercing the fool
who dared to laugh in his face.
"Aw, man!!" Yusuke cackled, still pointing at the demon. "You're almost
as cute as Koenma, little fella!"
Hiei's jaw dropped and brows furrowed for a moment, speechless as the
mortal detective laughed so hard he nearly fell over. He felt his face
redden and his blood pound furiously in his ears. "How... how DARE
you." Hiei hissed, tossing his black coat away and reaching for the hilt
of his sword. "Prepare to die, Spirit Detective!"
Yusuke stopped laughing in time to almost completely dodge the sword,
landing in the mossy mud with a tiny trail of blood running from an inch
long nick on his left cheek. "Geeze, touchy about the height, huh?" He
heard an enraged growl rol rolled blindly away, flipping onto his hands
and springing away, missing any attack by sheer luck. Feet firmly planted
on the ground, Yusuke readied his fists again, but the black demon was
nowhere to be found.
"You are either extremely intuitive, or extremely lucky. Either
yo
you're extremely stupid and you will die!"
Yusuke heard the sound of metal slicing air and turned, but no sooner
had he done so than his right arm erupted with burning pain. With a yelp,
he gripped his upper arm as blood slowly leaked between his fingers. He
was no more prepared for the next blow that sliced his left thigh, or the
next across his back. Yusuke, finally realizing he was in deep, stumbled
away from the fight, only to find he had stumbled farther in as another
blow sliced across his left knee, knocking him to the ground with a cry.
Wincing, Yusuke gripped his arm as he pointed his finger, now with more
purpose, and sat kneeling on the forest floor, trying to catch sight of
his attacker. "C'mon..." He whispered, more to himself. "Where are ya,
ya little- SHIT!" Yusuke lurched forward as he caught sight of a glint
of metal, narrowly missing having his head sliced off.
'I gotta start getting serious, here- this guys gonna slaughter me!'
He rolled into another crouch, still aiming at nothing in particular.
"Why don't you stop running, you coward!"
'If I can just get one good shot, that'll be enough, won't it?' Yusuke
hoped as he searched the once again still woods.
"You keep calling me a coward, but you're the only one who's running."
The bodiless voice returned.
Yusuke squawked and fell onto his rear as Hiei materialized inches before
him. Yusuke pointed at his head, trying not to show his surprise.
"But fine, I can be agreeable. Let's play this on your slower, less
effective terms. Go ahead." Hiei purred, leaning down a little. "Take your
best shot, boy."
Hiei sniggered to himself- despite the amount of power he sensed surrounding
the detective, this fool had tapped into almost no energy- he was harmless.
This meant it would be less of a struggle, but no less fun, as long as
he could drag it out.
Yusuke narrowed his eyes. 'This asshole obviously has never heard of
Yusuke Urameshi!!'
"SPIRIT GUN!"
Hiei's eyes narrowed as he realized he had miscalculated how much of
his energy the human had at his disposal.
Yusuke's breath was harsh as he held his pose, waiting for the smoke
to clear. Once it settled, he breathed a sigh of relief and smiled to himself.
"Gotcha." There was only an instant of a tingling sensation before he rolled
forward, blood running down the back of his neck. With a groan he looked
over his shoulder at the supposedly defeated demon a few yards away, who
appeared to have suffered no more than a few scratches and the loss of
his shirt.
'Oh man, I am so screwed
- 1
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Nothing So Simple