Adult-FanFiction.org : YuYu Hakusho

The Art of Loving Oneself	By : Megallica Category: Yuyu Hakusho > Yaoi - Male/Male > Hiei/Kurama Views: 4288 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, this is a work of fanfiction for which I do not get money.

Chapter List
- 1-1
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 4
- 5
- 6
Chapter Four
It was no surprise to Hiei that Yukina was waiting for him at the entrance to the temple. He ignored her concern, ignored her asking about the blood he was covered with and her fretting over how filthy he was. “Tell the oaf’s sister and the other girl to keep Kurama’s mother inside. Meet me in the forest with spare clothing. Bring Botan.” That was all Hiei said, then he turned around and headed back to where he’d left Kurama’s body.

He hadn’t wanted to walk away from Kurama’s body for even those few moments. It had been hard enough to set it down after he’d rescued it from the cave. He stood there, unmoving and not looking at Kurama’s body. It looked horrible. Blemished. Nothing like what it had in life. Hiei scoffed at the memory of once hearing someone say that in death, people looked peaceful. Kurama didn’t look peaceful; he looked dead.

The gasp from Yukina and a warbling sound out of Botan broke Hiei’s silent reverie. He looked up at Botan, expression defiant. “His soul has not left his body.”

Yukina knelt beside Kurama, looking stricken. “Kurama-san... b-but... how?”

“We do not know.” Hiei folded his arms over his chest.

“Where is my brother?!” Shizuru’s booming voice echoed through the forest as she rushed to Hiei. “We haven’t had news in days. I want to know what’s going on!” She stopped short of the clearing when she caught sight of Kurama. “What the hell, Hiei?”

“You should be inside making sure his mother does not see him like this.” Hiei snapped, giving Shizuru a venomous look.

“Bite me.” She lit a cigarette and blew smoke at Hiei. “Keiko’s taking care of it. You’re lucky she trusts you enough to do what you say. I sure as hell don’t, even if you’ve been running around with my idiot brother for so long. Now. Where is Kazuma?”

“I do not know. He is in Makai somewhere with Yuusuke.” That shut Shizuru up. Hiei had no time to prattle about plans and news.

“Hiei-san...” Botan stood beside Kurama’s body, tears in her eyes. “You’re right. H-his soul is still inside. This is... so odd.”

“Yukina.” Hiei turned to his sister, his expression an iota softer than when he’d been glaring at Shizuru. “Attempt to heal him.”

“I...” Yukina looked from Hiei to Botan. “I do not see how that will do any good.” Even so, she knelt beside Kurama to flood him with her healing youki, glancing up for only a moment when Hiei wandered off behind some trees to change into the outfit she’d brought him and burn his spare clothing.

When Hiei returned to the clearing, he watched as everyone took a step away from Kurama. Even after torturing Toguro to death, Hiei began to feel a bit sick to his stomach to see the way Kurama’s body contorted and twisted. Yukina and Botan both hid their faces against Shizuru but Shizuru kept her eyes on Hiei.

There was always a smoke-screen when Kurama transformed. He always used a powdered fungus to hide how hideous it looked so even Hiei had never seen it. His bones lengthening, the sickening noises of joints popping out of place and then back again, the way his skin rippled and stretched; it looked excruciating. When it was done and Kurama lay still once more, his body was far taller, had a tail, long silver hair and fox ears. “Ah...” Shizuru muttered. “He pulled a Yuusuke...”

A moment of silence was broken suddenly when Kurama sat up, coughing. “How long was I asleep?” he asked. He looked down at himself and only Hiei caught the look of slight panic. “What happened?”

Hiei reached out for Kurama’s hand to haul Kurama to his feet, which Kurama accepted, looking bewildered.

“How would I know?” Hiei asked, eyebrow raised and tapping his foot. “We have to go find the idiot and Yuusuke before Yuusuke destroys half of Makai mourning you.”

“Hiei... What--?” Kurama cut himself short. He turned around, not seeing the way Hiei stopped to watch.

“Shuuichi?” Shiori approached Kurama from behind some trees without hesitation and reached for his hand. She gave Kurama a look of pure, motherly concern.

“M-mother? You ought to have stayed inside--” Kurama jerked his hands upward slightly before letting them fall. It was pointless to try to hide his ears!

“Botan-san and Yukina-san have been.... filling me in. Letting me know why I am here.” Shiori gave Kurama an appraising look. That look caused Kurama, the legendary bandit to wince. “They left out the part about you being a... a youkai was it?” She folded her arms over her chest and Hiei wanted to chuckle at the way Kurama looked like a small child having been caught stealing cookies. “I would like an explanation, Shuuichi.”

“I... y-you see, Mother...” For once in his life, Kurama was, momentarily, at a loss for words. “I have.... been hiding a terrible secret from you all my life. I am not human, clearly. I am a kitsune who nearly died, my soul escaped to living world and I... possessed a fetus inside of you before it was capable of attaining a soul. I did not kill your son.” Kurama looked down at his feet. “Please believe that.”

“As far as I am concerned.” Shiori stepped forward, her hands on Kurama’s elbows because that was about as high as she could even reach. “You are and always have been, my son. It doesn’t matter to me if you are a bit different, my Shuuichi.” She wrapped her arms around Kurama and held him tight. “I just wish you would have told me sooner.”

“I... I am sorry.” Kurama held Shiori for a few moments before drawing away. “I have to go, you see. Yuusuke thinks I have died. I have to set him right on that score.”

“He thinks... what? Shuuichi... Have you been doing something reckless?” Shiori stood, hands on hips, tone suddenly chastising. “I want a full explanation when you return from this... trip.”

“We do not know how long it will be.” Hiei interjected. “We must leave now.” Hiei grabbed Kurama by the elbow and started tugging him along.

“Pardon me, sir.” Shiori stepped in front of Hiei. “I would like to say a proper farewell to my son before he leaves to go back into hiding.” Hiei rolled his eyes and stepped away, allowing Shiori to give Kurama a goodbye hug. He was tempted to roll his eyes again when she told Kurama she loved him and asked him to try to be safe. It was sickening.

- -

“Urameshi...” Kuwabara was tired. His mouth was dry and they were lost. They’d had to leave that cave in such a rush, Kuwabara hadn’t had time to grab any of their supplies. All he’d managed to do was set up a shoddy shelter under a tree and tried to hide his reiki as best he could. Even if most youkai didn’t go out of their way to hunt humans, he was still sort of a sitting duck here! Plus, he’d finally noticed the scratches Toguro had left on him and he really wished Kurama or Yukina were there to heal him.

He felt a pang of sadness just thinking about the kitsune and shoved Kurama from his thoughts for the time being. “Urameshi, get up. Y’been asleep fer almost a day.”

“Leave me alone, Kuwabara.” Yuusuke just rolled over on the grass and stared up at the sky. “You don’t need me awake right now. I’ll get up if you’re attacked.”

“Some help you are!” Kuwabara shoved Yuusuke. “Get up. We can’t stay here. We gotta keep moving.”

“This is the first place Hiei will look for us. I doubt the SDF’ll be here in a hurry.” Yuusuke sat up finally and gave Kuwabara a stern look. “What are you doing here anyways? You should be in Ningenkai. At the temple. With the rest of the humans.”

“Fuck you, Urameshi! I saved yer damn life back there!” Kuwabara grouched, crossing his arms.

“I didn’t ask you to.” Yuusuke stood up.

Kuwabara was silent for a moment before uncrossing his arms and standing up, making a half-hearted comforting motion toward Yuusuke. “I loved Kurama just as much as you did but he wouldn’t want us t’just lay here and die just ‘cause...” Kuwabara shook his head. “Y’blew up half the forest. If the SDF comes by, they’ll find us real fast. It’s a dead giveaway. Plus all that youki y’were lettin’ off. Surprised I didn’t get knocked out from it. Sheesh...”

“If you are found, it will be because you are shouting, Kuwabara-kun.” Yuusuke and Kuwabara both snapped to attention, shocked to hear Kurama’s voice. But it wasn’t Kurama’s. It was deeper and--

“Oh damn, how’d y’come back?!” Kuwabara dashed a few feet ahead.

“ARE YOU INSANE?!” Yuusuke hurried forward and knocked Kuwabara on his ass, standing in front of Kuwabara. “After everything we’ve seen so far, you wanna just TRUST this guy because he looks and talks like Kurama? Hello! We just watched our friend d- he just... Kurama, is that really you?” Yuusuke squinted at Kurama. “Wha...?”

“It’s him,” Hiei said, stepping out of the shadows. “Now cease your disgusting simpering. The fool is right. We cannot stay in this forest.”

“We are safe for the moment, Hiei.” Kurama held out a hand to stop Hiei from objecting. “I want to know what has happened. Apparently, I have missed quite a lot.”

“Y-yeah,” Kuwabara said. “Last thing y’said y’remembered had t’be months and months ago.”

“Kurama has no idea what happened to him??” Yuusuke stared at Kurama for a moment. “Well fuck, we only have some of it.”

“There is another coup occurring.” Hiei took out his sword and was flicking it about, apparently bored with this conversation. “Your toddler friend has enemies. They want him dead. They want all of his allies dead in order to keep them from assisting. As if I had any inclination to help him. I am no longer in his employ.” Hiei looked up at Kurama. “While I could single-handedly murder the entire group of them, I see no reason to trouble myself with it.”

“Shut up, Hiei,” Yuusuke snapped. “You and me both know none of us is a match for even one of those SDF bastards. Not even working together. Let alone having all of them chasing us at once.”

“Yes, Hiei, there is a reason they are the youkai boogiemen.” Kurama sat down on the ground, adjusting his toga. “If you recall, one of them killed me at the height of my power.”

“I don’t believe for a moment that they were intelligent enough to catch you.” Hiei stared at Kurama, for a few moments.. “It doesn’t matter. It’s too much trouble to fight them. I would prefer to stay out of the way for now..”

“This sucks.” Yuusuke plopped down on the ground and started absent-mindedly shredding the grass in front of him. “All this crazy shit going on and I’m stuck here with no one to fight. Fuckin’ stupid.” He looked up at Kurama, his expression blank. “Glad you’re not dead. Even if you kinda ripped off moves.”

Kurama smiled. “That makes both of us, at least.” Kurama pushed his hair behind his shoulder to get it out of his face, frowning slightly. “We are being tracked by the SDF. What on earth does Elder Toguro have to do with any of it?”

“That’s what I wanna know,” said Kuwabara. He sat next to Yuusuke and the two of them exchanged brief, unreadable looks. “Hard t’believe we’re gettin’ tracked by some enemy and another one pops outta one of Kurama’s best traps at the same time.”

Kurama chuckled. “Hardly my best. It simply seemed most poetic.” Kurama tapped his chin, thinking. A glance to the side let Kurama catch the way Hiei was staring at his tail. “Yes. I cannot see him escaping it on his own. The plant was mine and I was incapable of fighting it off.”

“Are you okay now?” Yuusuke gave Kurama a once-over. “Nobody told me what was going on in your head but that tree is supposed to make you think you’re fighting, right?”

“No. It was Kurama’s worst fear.” Kuwabara crossed his arms over his chest and glanced at Kurama. “Right?”

“No, actually....” Kurama shifted slightly, his smile looking more like a grimace now. “Loneliness is near the top. However... my worst fear already came to pass and it was far less horrible than expected.” Kurama chuckled suddenly and Yuusuke and Kuwabara both gave him questioning looks. “My mother knows the truth of my identity now.”

“You came out to your mom?” Yuusuke asked. Kuwabara punched Yuusuke’s arm, glaring. “What?! I meant as a youkai smart-ass! Jeez... guy can’t tell a tasteless joke.”

Kuwabara gave Yuusuke a cold look. “Don’t be a dick, Urameshi.”

“What?” Yuusuke turned toward Kuwabara, leaving a circular imprint in the dirt with his rear. “What?!”

“Kuwabara-kun, if this is about anything you may have seen in my mind, please do not let Yuusuke’s thoughtlessness trouble you.” Kurama stood up. “I assure you, I am used to it.”

“See? He doesn’t care.” Yuusuke stood. “Let’s get going. We gotta find somewhere safe-ish to camp.”

Kurama and Kuwabara both stood as well. Hiei followed just behind Kurama, trying to ignore Yuusuke and Kuwabara’s near-constant bickering.

It wasn’t until they were nearly 10 miles from their original position that Kurama finally told everyone to stop. They were deep in the forest now. The trees were so massive and so close together, it was difficult to navigate through their branches. Luckily, Kurama’s youki commanded respect and even reverence from the plants. With Kurama ahead of them, they had clear, flat ground to walk on and once they’d reached an area of mostly clear ground, they began to set up their camp.

Hiei had a fire going almost immediately. They had no tent or shelter but the trees were so huge, they couldn’t see the sky when they looked up anyway. It was a little exposed but thanks to the fire, they’d at least not freeze overnight. Plus, Hiei had brought the duffle bag with him when he’d left the cave so they had some food and clean water.

“Hiei and I will hunt tomorrow,” Kurama said once they’d all eaten and were sitting around the fire. “Neither of you are acquainted with Makai wilderness enough to know what plants are safe to eat. I will have to teach you.”

“I think we should take Kuwabara back to the temple.” Yuusuke nibbled on his thumbnail as he said this, leaning back against a tree, legs stretched out in front of him. “He’s a human. He shouldn’t be here. The miasma’ll kill him in days.”

“I can breathe just fine, Urameshi, really.” Kuwabara gave Yuusuke an angry look. “Didn’t have a problem durin’ yer fight with Sensui, got no problem now.” Kuwabara shrugged. “Even smells a little better this time.”

Kurama gave Kuwabara a startled look but quickly looked back at his pathetic supper of canned peaches and jerky. “Kuwabara-kun is quite unusual for a human. I’m sure it will be fine, Yuusuke. If need be, I can borrow a respirator from Yomi.”

Yuusuke laughed. “Yeah. Because Yomi’s in a spot where he can help a criminal without getting his ass reamed by the SDF.”

“He meant steal,” Hiei explained.

“I would have every intention of returning it.” Kurama closed his eyes and leaned backwards against the tree behind him. “Yuusuke? Would you mind keeping watch tonight? At least one of us should be awake while the others sleep.”

“Yeah, sure. Slept all day anyhow.” Yuusuke stood and climbed up the tree he’d been sitting in front of.

Hiei put out the fire and scowled when Kuwabara protested. “It draws too much attention.” Hiei curled up on the still piping-hot coals and closed his eyes. He was asleep a moment later.

“We won’t be cold,” Kurama muttered to Kuwabara. “Hiei will keep the clearing a comfortable temperature even while asleep.”

“Really?” Kuwabara gave Kurama a dubious look.

“If you get cold,” Yuusuke called down. “Come up here, I’ll keep you warm!”

“Shuddup, Urameshi! I don’t need your help!” Kuwabara called back up.

“Be quiet,” Hiei muttered sleepily. “Or I will skin all of you.”

- -

The next morning, Kuwabara woke to the smell of some kind of meat cooking. He was disoriented for a moment, forgetting where he was until Yuusuke pinched his nose shut. “Cut that out!” Kuwabara grumbled, slapping away Yuusuke’s hand.

“You gotta wake up faster than that.” Yuusuke scooted backwards on his ass, disturbing the ground. “We’re in Makai. What if I’d been about to eat you?”

“You wouldn’ta pinched me first if y’were hungry.” Kuwabara sat up and did his best to get the leaves and twigs out of his hair. Doing some awkward-looking stretches. “Besides. Anybody but you tried to wake me up like that’d get punched.”

“You used to punch me anyways.” Yuusuke wiggled his eyebrows at Kuwabara. “What changed?”

Kurama looked up from the skewers of meat he was roasting and gave Yuusuke a startled look.

“Quit being such an asshole, Urameshi.” Kuwabara spat.

“Who’s bein’ an asshole?!” Yuusuke scowled at Kuwabara. “What did I even DO?”

“Stop shouting,” Hiei growled.

“Shut up, Hiei!” Yuusuke and Kuwabara both shouted at the same time.

“Honestly,” Kurama gave Kuwabara and Yuusuke an appraising look before smiling mischievously at Hiei. “I suspect that one of them will propose to the other rather soon.”

Hiei and Yuusuke gave Kurama confused looks but Kuwabara stood up and walked off. “What the...?” Yuusuke muttered, glancing over his shoulder as Kuwabara stomped off into the forest.

Kurama sighed, standing. “Mind the food. My sense of humor is apparently going unappreciated...”

Kuwabara hadn’t wandered off very far. Just into the forest and out of ear-shot so he could curse softly at a tree without being overheard. “Regardless of the tree’s apparent lack of sentience, it honestly does react to your negativity, Kuwabara-kun.”

Kuwabara jumped slightly and turned around, giving Kurama a wide-eyed look. “S-sorry. I didn’t hear ya.”

“A dangerous thing to admit. You must be more vigilant.” Kurama lead Kuwabara away a few more yards. “This whole thing must be awfully stressful for you. I apparently ‘died’?”

“Yeah...” Kuwabara’s shoulders slumped and he looked down at the ground. “Didn’ know what t’do. Urameshi was freakin’ out and Hiei told me t’grab him and take off. I didn’t wanna leave ya but I thought Hiei’d attack me if I didn’t.”

“I would have done precisely as you did in your situation.” Kurama touched the tree, looking at it for a moment. “Years prior, I would have left without any of you.” When Kurama looked up and saw Kuwabara’s disgusted and confused expression, he quickly waved his hands in front of his face. “That was a compliment.”

“I don’t... I don’t really get it.” Kuwabara scratched the back of his head, raising an eyebrow at Kurama.

“Oh?” Kurama grinned. “You are more of a man now than I ever was.”

“Uh... thanks, I think.” Kuwabara folded his arms over his chest and stared at the tree behind Kurama. “I-it ain’t really my business but, uh... if y’wanna talk about what was goin’ on in yer head...” Even in the semi-darkness, Kuwabara’s flush was apparent. “I’ll listen.”

Kurama shook his head. “None of my dreams had any basis in reality.”

“None? Really?” Kuwabara stood up a bit straighter but looked weary. “Y’mean... y’aren’t... y’know.... Hiei and...”

“Not yet.”

Kuwabara blinked, then he frantically waved his hands in front of his face. “L-like I said, it ain’t my business. I don-”

“Not to worry, Kuwabara-kun.” Kurama smiled gently. “Is there something going on in your mind that you need to share? With a being that can respond. I noticed you were already attempting to express your feelings to the tree, however. I doubt she was much help.”

“I ain’t freaked out about you likin-”

“Kuwabara-kun.” Kurama crossed his arms.

“R-right... it’s just...” Kuwabara kicked the dirt in front of his feet, struggling with the words. “Yuusuke’s goin’ through some stuff right now y’probably don’t even know ‘bout seein’ as you forgot a couple months.”

“I had not noticed anything bizarre about his behavior.”

There was another pause. Kuwabara paced back and forth a few steps, gesturing slightly with his hands. Kurama waited. “I dunno if it’s my business t’tell ya. I dunno if he ever told ya t’begin with.”

“If it is bothering you this much, you are clearly worried for him. If you are worried, letting another person know may help alleviate the concern.”

“Keiko broke up with him.” The words seemed to explode from Kuwabara (albeit in a hushed voice) and he immediately turned away. “He sorta took it pretty hard.”

“I can imagine why.” Kurama uncrossed his arms and gave Kuwabara’s shoulder a single awkward pat. “Did she give him a reason?”

“He wouldn’t tell me. An’ Yukimura didn’t wanna talk ‘bout it. Dunno, Kurama...” Kuwabara shrugged. “He’s been actin’ weird ever since. Lost it when he thought y’were dead. Destroyed half th’cave.”

“I’m glad.” Kurama smiled softly. “I prefer that to tears. Honestly, I’d like to believe my death would not leave him with quite as much sadness as your near misses with becoming a ghost.”

“What?” Kuwabara scratched the side of his head, staring at Kurama. “Why’s anger better than...?” Kuwabara gnawed on his lip, then cleared his throat. “Never mind... Anyway. He was already kinda a mess ‘cause some youkai attacked Atsuko-san--”

“Atsuko-san was attacked?” Kurama raised his eyebrows.

“Uh, yeah.” Kuwabara cleared his throat again. “She was out an’ some weird guys followed her. Turned out they were youkai but, hell... gotta think any youkai’d know better’n to mess with Yuusuke. His ma’s okay. She just got a few scratches. She beat th’crap outta the youkai that attacked her, though.”

“Ah...” Kurama smiled. “I have not met Atsuko-san but she seems... fascinating.”

Kuwabara nodded. “We should head back. Make sure Hiei’n Urameshi ain’t killin’ each other.”

“Yes, of course.”
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The Art of Loving Oneself