What Price Love?

//Holding you, I held everything
For a moment, wasn’t I a king
But if I’d only known how the king would fall
Hey, who’s to say, you know, I might have chanced it all//

“Hello, Hiei.”

At the sound of that voice, Hiei’s head snapped up and he straightened. The tiny hand clasped in his slipped from his grasp, all but forgotten now, as the world narrowed down to himself and the lovely red-headed figure standing before him. His sight and mind didn’t even register the Detective and the Fool standing behind Kurama. Hiei’s eyes were only for his fox.

Those eyes widened, their ruby depths filled with wonder as Hiei stared at the fox. How was it possible for someone already so beautiful to have grown even more so? Hiei didn’t know the answer to that question; only that it was true of the figure standing in front of him.

The lithe body still held the same graceful athleticism of a dancer, though it was thinner than Hiei remembered. The face, too, was thinner; it’s finely drawn planes making the features appear even more elfin-like. And Kurama’s eyes… to Hiei they seemed even more jewel-like than ever; far more brilliant than any emerald.

Hiei knew he was staring but found he cared not in the least. As always, the fox held him in thrall. The spell was only broken when he heard Ryuushin’s excited cry of “Papa!” as the young boy launched himself at his father.

With a tender smile, Kurama bent down to retrieve his son; lifting the boy into his arms and holding him close. Ryuushin returned his father’s hug, nuzzling against the warm neck before he pulled back and looked up at the fox, his smile wide.

“I found him, Papa,” he stated proudly, “even though he was twyin’ to hide… I found him!”

“As always, little one, your perceptions have served you well,” the kitsune replied. “However, you should not have gone into the woods alone; especially since you had no knowledge of what you might have found there.”

Though the words were gently spoken, Ryuushin hung his head. “I’m sowy, Papa.” The tiny voice was soft and filled with regret. He knew he’d upset his father. “I didn’t mean to make you wowry. I’ll wemember next time… I pwomise.”

Another soft smile lit Kurama’s face, and the arms holding Ryuushin tightened gently around the boy. “It’s all right, my son,” the kitsune replied, “I know you will.”

With Ryuushin snuggled into his chest, Kurama turned back to Hiei and gave him a smile. “So you two have met?” he asked. Before the hiyoukai could reply, a small voice broke in as Ryuushin looked up at his father, shaking his head adamantly.

“No, Papa, we didn’t,” he said, “not weally.”

“Oh, is that so?” The fox raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

“Yes sir.” The small boy nodded. “I did what you said. I held out my hand and told him my name, but before he told me his, you came. So,” he concluded as he turned his head slightly to look at the fire demon, “I guess that means we’re still stwangers, wight Mistah?”

At Ryuushin’s words, the right corner of Hiei’s lips rose in the barest hint of a smile before he schooled his features and looked up at his fox. “Your son is correct, Kurama,” he said, “and though our introduction was cut short so that right now we do remain strangers, I plan to rectify that situation immediately.”

Ruby eyes then met wide green ones as Hiei held his hand out to Ryuushin. When the small boy clasped it, the hiyoukai gave the tiny hand in his a firm shake. “My name is Hiei, Ryuushin,” he said, bowing slightly as he spoke. “And it is an honor to make the acquaintance of one so young who displays the courage and strength of character you have done.”

A faint blush colored Ryuushin’s cheeks at Hiei’s words. “Thank you, Mistah Hiei,” he responded, beaming from the fire demon’s praise.

Kurama watched the exchange between Hiei and his son in silence. When it was finished, he placed a gentle finger beneath Ryuushin’s chin and directed the boy’s emerald gaze to his own. “Well little one,” he said, “now that you two have officially met and are no longer strangers, I would like you to go back to the temple with Uncle Yusuke and Uncle Kazuma. I need to speak privately with Hiei, all right?”

“That’s right, Ryuu,” Yusuke interjected with enthusiasm. “I’m sure, by now, Akihiko’s starving, and I’ll bet you’re hungry too. Whadda’ ya’ say we head on back and order a coupla’ extra-large pizzas?”

Kurama shot Yusuke a look of utmost gratitude just as Ryuushin’s eyes widened at the mention of pizza. Squirming in his father’s arms, Ryuushin turned shining green eyes to the toushin.

“With mushwooms, onions, and shwimp?” the small boy exclaimed excitedly.

At the word ‘shrimp’, Kuwabara couldn’t help but snort as he glanced over at the fire youkai. Hiei returned his brother-in-law’s look with a glare that could have easily melted stone. Before their silent battle could become a verbal one, however, Yusuke stepped in once more.

“Sure, kiddo, anything you want,” he replied, shooting a brief glare at both Kuwabara and Hiei before returning his attention to Ryuushin. “So,” he grinned at the boy, “you ready to go?”

Ryuushin nodded enthusiastically. “Yes sir!” With a grin that matched Yusuke’s, he squirmed around in his father’s arms. When he was again eye-to-eye with the fox, he wrapped his tiny arms around Kurama’s neck and hugged tightly. “Don’t be too long, Papa, or you’ll miss the pizza,” he admonished, giving Kurama another hug.

Kurama returned both hugs before setting Ryuushin onto the ground. Still bending over and holding onto his son, he nuzzled the boy’s pug nose. “Not to worry, Little Dragon, I’ll be along shortly… I promise.”

Hiei watched the tender moment between father and son with a heavy heart. For reasons he could not, or would not, admit even to himself, he wanted to reach out and lift the boy into his own arms; to be the one Ryuushin embraced as he’d hugged his father. What was it about this tiny creature that made Hiei want to protect him; to hear his childish laughter and to watch as he grew into manhood – in short, to love him as a father should?

“Okay, Papa. See you later, Mistah Hiei.” Ryuushin grinned at his father and the fire demon before he reached up and took Yusuke’s hand; his words startling Hiei from his thoughts.

“Hn,” was Hiei’s somewhat gruff response as he watched the boy turn around and begin walking back to the temple, Yusuke and Kuwabara in tow. Once they’d disappeared completely into the trees, Hiei schooled his features into his usual emotionless mask then turned to face the man he loved.

Viridian eyes met vermilion as Kurama returned Hiei’s gaze. “Welcome back.” The soft tenor was carefully neutral. “To what do we owe the honor, Hiei?”

Again, the trademark ‘hn’ was heard followed by a soft query. “Where is she?” the fire demon asked. Hiei truly did not want to know about the person who had gained the love he had so carelessly thrown away, yet he found he could not stop himself: he had to know. And so he buried his emotions beneath the cold, emotionless mask for which he’d always been known, hoping the fox would not see through his façade.

“I beg your pardon.” Kurama was genuinely puzzled. “She, who?”

Hiei’s response was immediate, the deep voice filled with such ice that Kurama fought to suppress a shiver. “The woman. The human female to whom you’re mated. The mother of your son.”

“Forgive me if I fail to see why it should matter to you.” Though the words were spoken in Kurama’s soft tenor; they also held the steely edge to them for which Youko had been known. “But to answer your question, Hiei, I have no mate, nor have I had a lover for that matter… demon or human.” ‘How could I, when I belong to you?’ he thought but would not say the words aloud.

“Ryuushin is partly human because I am partly human,” he continued, “or have you forgotten?”

“I’ve forgotten nothing, Fox,” the fire demon retorted, “and your answer tells me nothing. If you have no lover or mate, how do you explain the boy?”

Kurama smiled, though it was tinged with sadness. “Since you noticed he was partly human, I’m surprised you neglected to perceive how much he bears a striking resemblance to his father, Hiei.”

“Except for the eyes, Kurama,” Hiei snorted, “he looks nothing like you. In fact, as the boy himself pointed out, he and I look more alike than you two do.”

“You would be deliberately obtuse about this, wouldn’t you?” The fox sighed with a graceful shrug of delicate shoulders. “Hiei, Ryuushin is our child… mine… and yours. You are his father, Hiei.” Again the fox smiled. “And technically, I suppose, I am his mother.”

“Perhaps you’d care to explain how that is possible, Fox?” the fire youkai asked. “Though I may be, as you so thoughtfully pointed out, obtuse about certain things,” there was no mistaking the sarcasm in his tone, “but even I know that it is physically impossible for two men to conceive a child. And unless I’ve been much mistaken as to your sex all these years, Kurama, and confused about my own, which I assure you I am not, we are both men.”

“You are correct, Hiei. We are both men. However, we are also demons,” Kurama replied.

“Male demons, Fox,” the small youkai retorted, emphasis clearly placed on the word ‘male’. “And demon or human, I say again, it is physically impossible for two men to have a child.”

Again, a soft sigh escaped the half-human spirit fox’s lips. “You’re right, Hiei,” Kurama conceded. “It is impossible for two human men to have a child together. The same holds true for most demon species as well. However, and here again, it is exceedingly rare, the male of the silver youko species is capable of doing so. A fact I discovered only after you left,” he finished quietly.

Hiei stared at Kurama, saying nothing for a long time as if carefully contemplating his next words. When he finally spoke, the ice in his voice had warmed somewhat; the deep baritone losing the frigid quality it had previously contained.

“Although I do not doubt your words, Kurama,” he said, “I must admit, I find them somewhat hard to believe.” Hiei smirked slightly. “After all, Fox, you cannot deny that your sexual exploits as Youko were as legendary as your skills as a thief! How could you not have known?”

A slender red eyebrow rose. “I suppose I should thank you for that rather back-handed compliment,” Kurama responded dryly.

“I’d settle for an answer to my question rather than your gratitude,” came the equally sardonic reply from the fire demon.

“Very well,” Kurama nodded. “It’s quite simple, really. I did not know I had the ability to conceive and bear a child, because in all my years as Youko Kurama, I never once allowed any lover to dominate me.”

“Not even Kuronue?” There was no mistaking the surprise in Hiei’s voice at this revelation.

Kurama shook his crimson mane. “Kuronue and I were lovers, Hiei. And though I cared deeply for him, I was not in love with him.”

“You… you mean that I….” Suddenly, the small fire demon seemed at a loss for words.

“Yes, Hiei,” Kurama nodded. “That is exactly what I mean.” He favored the hiyoukai with a gentle smile. “In both my lives, you are the only one I have given myself to… the only one I have truly loved.”

“I’m sorry, Fox.” The words were so softly spoken, Kurama almost didn’t hear them. Again, he smiled.

“Don’t be,” the fox replied. There was silence for a moment, before Kurama spoke again. “And now that I have answered your questions, I have one of my own.”

“Then ask it, Kurama,” Hiei responded.

“Why, Hiei? Why did you leave?” The sadness in Kurama’s voice as he put the question to Hiei, tore at the little fire demon’s heart. Of all the questions Kurama could have asked, this was the one Hiei dreaded answering the most. But he resolved that he would, and do so honestly.

“I was afraid, Fox,” he replied. “Afraid of what you offered… afraid of what I felt. I told myself I didn’t want those feelings; that I had no use for them; they were a liability… you were a liability.” A harsh chuckle escaped. “I even convinced myself that you hadn’t meant those words; that all you wanted was to get me into your bed. It took me three years to realize how very wrong I was.”

Hiei looked up at the fox; his face a study in misery. He had hurt the one person in the three worlds who meant everything to him; he knew that. He also knew he loved the fox more than life itself.

“I should have acknowledged what I felt… what I feel… that night,” he said, “yet I didn’t. But it is true, Fox, I did… I do love you!”

Kurama stared back without a word. Finally, after what seemed an eternity to the hiyoukai, his fox spoke. “What do you want of me, Hiei?” he softly questioned.

“I want you, Kurama,” was the impassioned response. “I want to have you in my life; to love you for all eternity; and to have you love me in return. And I want you to tell me there’s chance of that happening, Fox. Please tell me there is.”

Again the silence stretched between them as Kurama looked at Hiei. And again, it seemed an eternity before he answered. “The one thing I am sure of,” the fox spoke quietly, “is that, even after three years, I still love you, Hiei. But…..”

“You don’t know if you can trust me any longer, right?”

Kurama bit his lower lip as he nodded. “I… I need time…..”

“Then take it, Fox,” Hiei broke in. “I will wait.”

“Thank you for understanding, Hiei.” Kurama reached out to touch the fire demon’s cheek. Hiei leaned into the brief touch before Kurama turned to go. “I should get back. Ryuushin will worry if I’m gone for too long,” he said, starting to head back to the temple.

“Kurama?” Hiei’s voice halted the fox, and Kurama turned back around.

“Yes, Hiei,” he answered.

The small youkai seemed suddenly nervous. “About Ryuushin… I’d… I’d like to see him again, if that’s all right with you?”

Kurama gave Hiei a brilliant smile. “Of course it is, Hiei. You can see Ryuushin whenever you’d like. In fact,” he held out his hand to the fire demon, “why not come back to the temple with me now and start getting to know your son?”

My son! Hiei savored those words as his eyes met the fox’s. Crimson orbs softened and an answering smile lit his handsome features. “I’d like that, Fox.”

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WOW!! 6 typed pages! I think that's the most I've EVER written for a single chapter of a story. I hope you enjoyed it!