Adult-FanFiction.org : YuYu Hakusho

The Art of Loving Oneself	By : Megallica Category: Yuyu Hakusho > Yaoi - Male/Male > Hiei/Kurama Views: 4288 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, this is a work of fanfiction for which I do not get money.

Chapter List
- 1-1
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 7
- 8
“What... just happened?” Kuwabara muttered. He looked up at the canopy of leaves above him for a second and barely registered the tree root digging into his back before he jumped up and hurried after Yuusuke. By that time, Yuusuke had gotten a significant head-start on him. Kuwabara sighed and dashed off as quickly as he could in the direction he’d heard Yuusuke go. Kuwabara would just go in a straight line and then come right back. That way, he wouldn’t get lost.

Luckily, Kuwabara spotted Yuusuke as he was coming down a steep hill in the forest. He skid in the dirt but still managed to slide through some damp moss right into Yuusuke’s side. Yuusuke actually flinched a little and elbowed Kuwabara in the ribs out of reflex.

“Oh fuck!” Yuusuke turned and reached for Kuwabara. “Did that hurt a lot?”

“No!” Kuwabara crossed his arms and actually scowled at Yuusuke. “Enough t’leave a little bruise, maybe? I dunno, Urameshi. I’ve taken harder hits from you to the face.”

“Oh, yeah...”

Kuwabara cleared his throat. “What was that all about?”

Yuusuke shook his head slightly and chuckled a little. After a long pause, he let his hand fall back to his side and shrugged. “Nothing.”

“You’re being real weird, Urameshi! One second, we’re sparrin’. As soon as you tackled me, you started acting like a weirdo.” Kuwabara rubbed his side, staring at his feet for a moment. “Thought you were gonna kiss me or something.”

Kuwabara braced himself for the punch he was sure was coming, but Yuusuke just laughed. “Yeah, right. Like I wouldn’t just push you up against a tree and do it if I felt like making out.”

“N-no you wouldn’t!” Kuwabara stared at Yuusuke, wide-eyed. He was sure his face was on fire. He felt like he was going to burst into flames from the force of his blush. “J-jesus. That’s not funny.”

“Who said it was supposed to be funny?!” Yuusuke shouted. A couple of wild birds actually took off into the sky and sparks shot out of Yuusuke’s fingertips when he threw his hands up. Kuwabara caught a brief look of hurt on Yuusuke’s face before Yuusuke started laughing again. “Wow. You’re... You’re something else, you know it?” Yuusuke turned and started walking back. “Come on, Kuwabara. Camp’s back this way. Just a couple yards.”

“No.”

Yuusuke paused in mid-stride and did a clumsy pirouette as he turned to look at Kuwabara. He stood perfectly still with one foot in the air. “What?”

Maybe it hadn’t been Kuwabara’s smartest idea. He coughed a bit as the dirt from Yuusuke’s stupid ballerina trick settled back to the ground and just stood there, shaking a little from nerves. Or his blush. More likely, it was the stupid weird tingling he’d felt in his chest when he realized that Yuusuke didn’t even look angry. Just confused. “I’m not letting you take off again. About had a heart-attack when you took off like that a couple minutes ago.” Kuwabara cleared his throat. “You can’t just... up and leave to avoid dealing with something.”

“Why do you sound so.... serious and smart?” He was still standing on one foot!

Kuwabara scowled. “I’m sick of talking like a thug so you won’t pick on me for being smarter than you.”

Yuusuke’s look of confusion turned to one of actual shock. Finally. A reaction other than anger or shallow joking.

Yuusuke swayed and let his other foot fall back to the ground. “What the hell?” Kuwabara could barely hear his voice.

“Just... stop changing the subject, okay? I dunno what’s been going on with you lately.” Kuwabara took a deep breath and one step toward Yuusuke. “I dunno if you’re acting weird because your heart is broken over Keiko or--”

“I’m not heart-broken over Keiko, you dick.” Yuusuke folded his arms over his chest. All expression left his face. “I don’t know why the hell you’re taking so long to figure it out.”

“Figure WHAT out?” Kuwabara shouted.

Yuusuke shrugged. “You said so yourself; you’re fucking SMART. So why the fuck would you not know when I’m joking?!”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Kuwabara’s voice actually raised a couple pitches and he grumbled a bit before taking a step back. “You’re not making sense. Most of the stuff you say is a jok-”

“No, it’s not.” Yuusuke kicked the dirt and crossed his arms again. But his shoulders were still slumped. “I say a lot of stuff that’s joking and.... a lot that’s... actually true and-” Yuusuke looked up and gave Kuwabara the saddest-looking smile Kuwabara had ever seen. “It’s really WEIRD. I thought you knew me better.”

Kuwabara gnawed on his bottom lip. For a second, he thought his heart did stop. Or maybe broke. Or something because Yuusuke looked vulnerable and that was REALLY intense. Yuusuke was never vulnerable. Even the times Kuwabara KNEW Yuusuke was upset about something he never looked like... this.

“Are you gonna tell me what I’m not getting?” Kuwabara asked after several moments of just staring at Yuusuke (and honestly fighting back some really heavy emotions). “I can’t read your mind, Yuusuke...”

Yuusuke’s sad smile flickered and disappeared, then he was turning around. “You never call me ‘Yuusuke’. That’s weird.”

“Why’s it weird?” Kuwabara was confused again. He walked over to Yuusuke, wanting to pat his shoulder or something but when Yuusuke glanced at him again, he was smiling. And he didn’t look sad this time.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Yuusuke shoved his hands in his pockets and started walking back toward camp.

“That doesn’t explain anything!” Kuwabara called. Yuusuke just kept walking so Kuwabara hurried to catch up. “Come on, what the heck?”

“Shut up, seriously.” Yuusuke shot Kuwabara an annoyed glance.

“I wanna know what you’re acting so weird about. Why do you keep just walking off instead of explaining what you mean?”

Kurama was dozing by the fire again but woke up when Yuusuke came back into camp a few strides ahead of Kuwabara. “Maybe I’m not ready to explain it yet! Jeez. Get off my ass about it.”

Hiei threw a hot coal at Yuusuke. It went so wide, it had to be an intentional miss. “Trying to set me on fire?” Yuusuke muttered as he took his usual place across the camp.

“If I had intended to set you on fire, I have more efficient means.” Hiei’s mouth twitched slightly like he was considering maybe thinking about smiling. “It would be such a waste of youki, though. And I don’t doubt the reek of your burning flesh would take months to dissipate.”

Yuuuske said nothing for a long moment before he burst out laughing. “Did you just try to tell a joke?” He smirked while Hiei rolled his eyes. “Better than usual.”

“Indeed,” Kurama muttered.

“You look... healthier.” Kuwabara crouched a bit to get a closer look at Kurama. “Did you eat somethin’ yet?”

Kurama nodded. “Hiei made sure I consumed enough protein.”

“Wha-? O-oh!” Kuwabara flushed when the significance of Kurama’s words sank in.

“What?” Yuusuke asked, looking at Kuwabara and Kurama and then Hiei. “What?”

“How would I know?” Hiei muttered. “They are both idiots.”

Kurama chuckled. Kuwabara just stood and walked back over to his usual side of the camp beside Yuusuke. “Don’t worry about it, Urameshi.”

Yuusuke twitched and looked at Kuwabara, frowning for a second. “Eh. As long as Kurama’s healthier.”

“I am not quite at my healthiest.” Kurama smiled in a way that made Kuwabara squirm a little in his seat. “I will be soon. Don’t you agree, Hiei?”

Hiei looked over at Kurama and shrugged then went back to turning the meat on the smoking rack. “It will be a relief when you are.”

“Ohhh! I get it!” Yuusuke laughed. “Jeez, Kurama. It’s about time.”

“What the hell, Urameshi?” Kuwabara scowled. “D-”

“Kuwabara-kun,” Kurama interrupted. “Please stop being offended on my behalf. I assure you, I find Yuusuke’s antics primarily amusing, if nothing else.” Kurama cleared his throat and shifted forward. “If, on the other hand, you have some other reason for being irritated, in particular, about that type of joke, it would probably be wise to simply tell him rather than this bizarre, explosive reaction to Yuusuke’s usual brand of humor.”

Kuwabara actually glared at Kurama for saying that out loud.

“Wait, what?” Yuusuke looked from Kurama to Kuwabara. “What’s he talking about? What type of joke? That wasn’t a damn joke!”

“I know, Yuusuke.” Kurama smiled. Yuusuke looked like he wanted to punch the smile off of Kurama’s face. Kuwabara sort of felt like doing it himself.

“Kurama is trying to help, you incompetents.” Hiei stood and headed toward the nearest tree. “I will scan the area from as far up as possible so I don’t have to listen to either of you whine.” Hiei started jumping up the tree branches and Kuwabara was amused that Hiei was doing it slow enough that he could see all of his movements.

But only for a second because he was still mad at Kurama.

“I don’t get it.” Yuusuke shook his head. “I really don’t. If Kurama can tell when I’m not joking, why is it so hard for you?” Yuusuke poked Kuwabara on the arm.

“I believe I know.” Kurama closed his eyes. “You are both keeping strange secrets from each other. At first, I had been planning to let you sort it out between the two of you. However, your constant bickering has become something of a hazard. Shouting at one another in the forest is a good way to attract attention.”

“Why is it that you always know what’s going on before anyone else?” Yuusuke asked.

Kurama laughed and laid down on the fur of some animal Hiei had slaughtered and skinned. “I need to sleep. Please sort out this misunderstanding as softly as you are able.”

Kuwabara and Yuusuke were silent for a few long, awkward moments while they waited for Kurama to fall asleep. The only way Kuwabara felt like he wouldn’t wake Kurama with his talking was by scooting closer to Yuusuke and speaking in hushed tones. So he did just that. “How do I tell when somethin’ you say is a joke? You kinda say everything like it’s meant t’be one.”

“I figured....” Yuusuke sighed. “I kinda figured you knew that most of the stuff I say is actually pretty true. I don’t really hide what I think...”

“But... that’d mean....”

“I wasn’t joking about making out with you in the forest, Kuwabara.” Yuusuke muttered that in such a rush that it was hard for Kuwabara to understand at first. “I just... don’t wanna say stuff like that seriously in case you decide not to talk to me ever again.”

Kuwabara was dead silent for almost a minute. He had to repeat Yuusuke’s words in his head several times, and then take a deep breath to avoid shouting what he said next. “Wh-why would that make me not ever wanna speak to you again?”

Yuusuke raised an eyebrow at Kuwabara. “What? Like that’s something guys can just say to each other without it being weird? Get real! No matter how accepting you are of Kurama and Hiei being them, it’s not the same thing as having me... be... like that too.”

“L-like what?” Kuwabara almost wanted to stand up and say what he had to say next on the other side of the planet from Yuusuke. “Like being... gay?”

“No!” Kurama stirred in his sleep so Yuusuke lowered his voice again. “No. I mean.... I don’t even wanna go into that. But, uh, at least you know I’m not just being an ass and making jokes about gay stuff because... holy shit, that’s a weight off my shoulders.”

Kuwabara frowned and looked at Yuusuke sideways. “You’re attracted to me but you’re not gay?”

“I never said that. I said I didn’t want to get into the gay thing. I can’t even deal with that right now. But... the rest of it, yeah.”

“You’re attracted to me.”

“I already said that.” Yuusuke smirked. “I guess I could have said it a little different. ‘Cause it’s not just wanting your body or anything. I mean, that’d be stupid and disrespectful. Not that you’re not hot!” Yuusuke waved his hands in front of his face. “I mean. It’s not... just because you’re hot.”

Kuwabara just couldn’t comprehend Yuusuke calling him hot. He’d have to over-look that for now because the idea of Yuusuke thinking he was hot was just outrageous. “B-but you’re the one who’s... who...”

“Oh, I know I’m hotter than you. You don’t have to say it.” Yuusuke’s smirk grew to a cheesy grin. “I’m just glad you don’t hate me for thinking you are.”

“Urameshi... I’ve had a crush on you since we were fourteen.” Kuwabara gnawed on his lower lip, almost biting the tip of his tongue several times. That had taken all of his willpower to say.

“Yeah... I sorta thought you might.” Yuusuke shrugged and turned toward Kuwabara.

“Wh-what?? Why didn’t you say so?!”

“In case I was wrong.” Yuuuske shrugged again, inching toward Kuwabara a bit. “So... since I’m not wrong...” Yuusuke inched even closer. By now he was close enough to Kuwabara to make Kuwabara want to back away. Just because of how many times having Yuusuke that close meant some kind of physical pain was going to follow.

“What?” Kuwabara had to crane his neck slightly to look Yuusuke in the eyes now. This was ridiculous. It all made sense a moment later when Yuusuke closed his eyes and leaned up a bit, pressing his lips against Kuwabara’s.

Oh.

Right.

Yuusuke had said he hadn’t been joking about making out. Kuwabara understood now. And he was glad he did because kissing Yuusuke had been one of his greatest aspirations for so many years. Now he was finally kissing Yuusuke and he felt like an awkward, bumbling teenager (even though he’d kissed a few other people in the past). This was Yuusuke and Kuwabara was damn nervous.

Luckily, Yuusuke pulled away after only about fifteen seconds. Even that short period was enough to make Kuwabara feel like he could hardly breathe. He lost his breath a second time when he caught the most radiant smile he’d ever seen; and Yuusuke was directing it at him.
- 7
- 8
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The Art of Loving Oneself