Adult-FanFiction.org : YuYu Hakusho

Blind	By : mocha Category: Yuyu Hakusho > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1768 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Blind

By mocha

This version was revised for the Green Grapes and Lemonade
Contest, so some sentences were added or deleted from the original. The scenes
that were deleted from the contest will be added here, since lemons always make
everything better. ^_^

All disclaimers and yaoi warnings
apply here. Oh, and constant character depression. That too.

Damasu ~ Deceive

~*~*~*~

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where we're gonna be when we turn 25

I keep thinking times will never change

Keep on thinking things will always be the same
~Vitamin C

~*~*~*~

I thought I had a future.
cla class=MsoNormal>
I had dreamed about the yet-to-come ever since I was two in
this ningen body. They were mostly filled with the vision of leaving this
god-forsaken human world and transferring back into my Youko self, free once
again in the Makai to steal the most valuable treasures and still have time for
a quick screw. Now it seems like that will never happen.

//�I�ll miss you Kurama. Your name better show up in the
paper!�//

Yusuke believed that I would become a millionaire scientist
that would find a way to make it to another galaxy and discover a race of
aliens. Then I would somehow take over their planet and make them human slaves
for Earth, or so his science-fiction mind said. He told me to come by his and
his wife�s ramen shop someday and make up for old times. Then I would see
Keiko�s two little children, destroying everything in sight with their newly
discovered Rei-Guns, running around like there was no tomorrow.

I don�t believe in tomorrow.

//�I hope I�ll see you again soon!
Yukina will be thrilled to have you at our engagement party!�//

Kuwabara thought I would become a college professor at an
American school called Harvard and discover a Nobel Peace Prize winning
medicine to ease stress. Then he could use it before the wedding so he wouldn�t
pass out while walking down the aisle. Funny. I didn�t
go to college. I think I missed their engagement party, too.

//�I�m so proud of you, Shuuichi.
You�re all grown up and ready for what�s out there.�//

I thought I was too,
Kaasan. I was prepared to tackle whatever was out there in this cold, bitter
world, no matter what the situation was. I would plow through it all and reach
the end of my goal. But it all backfired at me. You died. And now I�m not
ready.

All because of one thing.

//�I hope you die and rot in the
lowest pit of Hell. I *hate* you.�//

�SHUT UP!� I throw my empty sake bottle at the wall,
shattering it into a thousand shards. They fall to the floor like poisoned
rain, littering it with its sharp glass and piercing it for eternity.

�WHY CAN�T I FORGET!?� I swallow
the last drop of the strong liquor and throw it against the termite-eaten door.

�Damn you,� I whisper, curling into a ball on the futon.
�Damn you, Hiei��

~*~*~*~

The trees groan and ache from years of standing in one spot,
the same spot they will stand in for as long as they live. I guess you could
describe me as a tree: growing yet never moving anywhere in life. I only got
older in age, slowing rotting into an inexistent corpse waiting to burn in
Hell�burn�

I stumble on the rough sidewalk as I make my way to work, shaking
those foolish thoughts out of my mind and nearly hitting my head on the dirty
pavement in the process. I consider allowing myself to fall and reach the
bottom, but shook that thought off my head, too. The alcohol in my system
hadn�t settled completely, making my short walk more difficult than usual.

//It wouldn�t matter anyway//, I muse once I make it though
the door to the night club. //I�ll probably get drunk
again and find myself in someone�s bed tomorrow morning.//

I pull on my long, black gloves and strap on my white
leather boots that went up to my knees. I kinda like
them; they give me a feeling that arises when I�m in my Youko form. But I can
never experience the same feeling again. My Youko self had died years ago. I
would no longer be able to become him again when I die from this ningen body. I
would just fly away and be sent to the Gate of Judgment, awaiting my sentence
to Hell and rot there, just like //he// wanted.

//Not that I care//, I think as I trace my gloved finger
along a man�s jawline. I lean in for a messy kiss. //Not that anybody cares. Heck, even these people think I�m
a woman.//

I lick my lips and observe my victim. Great.
He passed out. Oh well. There�s plenty more to go around.

�Hey sexy!� Yup.
Plenty more. I spin around, stumbling a little from
the amount of sake I had drunk, and give off a seductive smile at the rather
buff man and his drunken friends. Swaying my hips and flipping my hair (which
accidentally hit one of them and knocked him to the floor�oops), I walk over
and sit down next to him, hastily accepting the sake he gave me. I look into
the bottle, studying the auburn-colored liquor swirl around inside. Maybe I can
forget my problems for tonight�just tonight�

I half-listen to their rowdy conversation during the night.
I was more interested in how many sake bottles I could drink in one hour. So
far I was making good progress. About ten�.or is that fifteen? I re-count.

A slap on the butt grabs my attention. �You�re � hic � damn
cute.�

I turn and smile at the guy next to me. �Ya
rally thin� so?� I say, batting my eyes. �I�vena gots more ta show then thiz � hic � perty face o� mine.�

I giggle uncontrollably as his scoops me up in his arms. My
hands wrap around his neck as I give him a moist kiss, moaning in delight.

Before he could take me home, I reach over on the table and
grab the last full bottle of sake. I bring it up to my mouth, preparing to
drink to my heart�s content...and stop. Lowering it, I frown and look around
the club, searching and looking for the person who had called my name.

//That can�t be true//,
I think as I chug down the alcohol. I
let the bottle drop and crash to the floor once my vision begins to blur. //No
one has called me Kurama in years.//

~*~*~*~

I woke to not only to the sunlight burning my vision, but
the intolerable and //constant// pounding in my head. Usually I could ignore my
daily hangovers; I got them so much these days that I learned to live with them.
But for some strange reason, this one did not wanted to be left unknown.

Grumbling, I pulled myself out of the man�s arms and
collected my scattered clothes before he awoke and found out about my true gender,
which would result in hours of explanation and possible lawsuits that I would
rather avoid. I sighed from tiredness. Another night�s fuck.
That would be man number�what, three thousand perhaps? Three hundred per
year�times fifteen years�uh�a lot. I wouldn�t know. I wouldn�t care. I peeked
at the clock before I left. Five p.m.
Time for work already? But I hadn�t gotten over my dream yet�

~*~*~*~

�Hello, Hiei.�

�Hn.�

I smiled and stood up from my desk, leaving the piles of
paper abandoned. My essay could be finished in the morning.

�Would you like some sweet snow, Hiei?�

The second I blinked, the fire demon appeared right in front
of me with eager hands held out. Chuckling, I jogged downstairs and filled up a
bowl of his favorite, mint chocolate chip cookie dough covered in caramel and
topped off with a cherry.

//Complicated, just like himself//, I thought as I watched
him chow down the ice cream back in my room. Hiei scooped up the ice cream in
large spoonfuls, swallowing each in about two seconds with another two second
break in between. Then he would stop and
lick the chocolate off the spoon //very// sensually, making my present
situation no better. He had eaten about half of the bowl when he suddenly froze
in mid-swallow and dropped his spoon. His left eye twitched a bit before he
grabbed a fistful of spiky black hair and tugged.

�Ouch! Damn ningen food!� Ah. A brain
freeze. Perfect opportunity.

�If you keep that up, you�ll become completely bald,� I said,
smiling sweetly. �Let me��

�Nani-� Before he could finish his
sentence, I pulled him into a tight embrace, cradling his head against my
chest. The Jaganshi�s body froze and became tense in my hug. He was so silent I
could hear his demon heartbeat echoing in his well-built chest. To my luck, he
didn�t try to struggle, or better yet, kill me in many gruesome and creative
ways unimaginable to the mind.

We stayed in this position for only about five minutes,
though it felt like forever to me, or so I wished. His breathing had steadied, with
each breath exhaled against my school uniform and up my neck. I tightened my
arms around his small frame, wanting to feel his inner fire radiate on me. //This
is it//, I told myself, resting my head on his. His hair smelled like a spicy
rainforest�//I can�t hide anymore. I have to let him know.//
After a moment�s silence, I spoke.

�Hiei�are you feeling better now?�

�Ha � hai,� was his unstable
answer.

�Do you feel comfortable like this?�

��Hai��

I pulled him closer to make him sit on my lap. �That�s nice to
hear�I�ve been waiting a long time for this to happen.� My mouth is next to his
ear now, tickling his insides.

�Do you know why I�ve waited so long for this to happen?�

His body trembled. �Wh
� why?�

�Because�I love you.�

~*~*~*~

It all happened so fast then.

Hiei pushed � no � *threw* me against the wall with so much
force that a carving of my own body was created in it. He appeared in front of
me with lightening speed, katana at my neck.

�//Zakennayo!//� he screeched at
me, and sliced my neck open. I dropped to the floor, clutching my wound and
gasping for air. Blinding pain flooded into my body as he punched my face and
kicked me in the solar plexus. I fell onto my stomach, whimpering and shedding
crystal tears. I screamed when his fire-lit hand connected to my back, burning
through my shirt and melting my flesh to the bone. The Jaganshi flipped me
over, causing my burnt back to hit the floor painfully. His katana ripped open
the front of my uniform and drew a deep X shape over my heart.

~*~*~*~

The last words he said to me still haunt my soul today.

//�I hope you die and rot in the
lowest pit of Hell. I *hate* you.�//

~*~*~*~

The next morning, I left Tokyo,
leaving no trace of my whereabouts, not to Yusuke, Kuwabara, Koenma, Botan,
Yukina, or even Kaasan. I moved into the cheapest apartment I could find and
spent all my spare money on alcohol, wasting an entire year hiding in my room,
licking the bottles clean and breaking them on the ground. I later earned a job
at a strip club, telling myself that alcohol and other people could separate me
from my problems.

I was wrong.

Fifteen years later, I still bear the X shaped scar over my
heart.

And it won�t go away�

I stared at the scar in the mirror in the club�s bathroom.
It was white, like the pure heat of pain and sorrow. It was a mark of how
stupid I was in believing in myself. A mark of how hated I am by my best
friend. A mark that I will carry until I die from this
failure of a life. Disgusted, I threw on my shirt, only to notice the
bagginess near my belly.

//I�ve gotten thinner than yesterday//, I thought as I looked ay my ribs poking through my skin. I hadn�t
eaten any real food in fifteen years. My diet mainly consisted of alcohol and
whatever was put in my mouth during a session. My attention turned to my face,
studying the yellow and gray colors swallowing the once evergreen in my eyes. //Not
that it would matter anyway.//

Popping a cigarette in my mouth, I made my way the the club
� only to be greeted by the same man from last night.

�Hey sugr,� he slurred, swaying a
little. �How�d ja like t�
come with me �n my buds ov�r there��

-And he passed out on the floor. Thank Inari. Dealing with
the same person is no easy task. I began to do my job: scan around and seduce
as many men as long as you stay sober. //The sober part is hard to keep up with
though//, I thought while fiddling with the cigarette between my lips. //A beer
sounds pretty good right now-//

�Got your beer right here,� a deep voice said behind my
back. I spun around instantly. Who was that wonderful person with the
incredibly sexy voice?

Showing off my best smile, I walked over to the table where
a man was sitting, bottle held out and feet crossed over on the table. The
black lights behind him made his face difficult to see, though I could
distinguish a slender build and a mass of hair.

Once I made it over to him, I tossed a leg over his torso
and sat in his lap. I slid my cigarette between my fingers and licked his neck
slowly and sensually, giving off a moan when I heard him shudder
a sigh out. I smirked when I felt his fingers slip underneath my black pants
and placed a folded pile of yen on the waist line. My eyes traveled down and
quickly counted the paper money. Wow�twenty thousand yen�I don�t think I�ve
ever gotten that much before�

My attention turned back to him when I smelt my cigarette
burning. His hands extinguished the tiny flame in his fingers, though I
couldn�t see his lighter. He held the bottle of beer out again, but I pushed it
aside. I want to stay sober for this�his voice is so familiar�so beautiful�

�Hey,� I whispered, threading my fingers through his hair.
So much like silk�no, wait. That�s my gloves. I peeled them off and felt the
soft strands glide in-between my hand, giving off the faint scent of a forest.
Then again, that could be my cigarette. �Come here often?�

�Not in a while,� he replied. I sucked in my breath and
tried to calm my heartbeat down. This guy certainly knew how to make someone
horny just by talking to them.

�We�ll have to make up then,� I said, lips getting closer. I
put my cigarette in my mouth, inhaled, and blew the smoke back in his face
sensually. I leaned in even closer, making our lips only a centimeter apart. �I�m
sorry that you�ve misout out on all the fun.�

�I�m sorry too�Kurama.�

I jumped back and stared into the red eyes of Hiei.

~*~*~*~
&n
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