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REMEMBERING LOVE	By : ShioriFoxiesMom Category: Yuyu Hakusho > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2965 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
REMEMBER, I WRITE LOVE STORIES. IF YOU DON�T LIKE THEN DON�T READ.

Returning after three years Hiei discovers that something has happened to Kurama in his absence. Kurama is OOC but you�ll understand why soon. This will be condensed down to four chapters. Sorry no smut until the last one.
Standard disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho. Yu Yu Hakusho and it's characters are property of Yoshihiro Togashi, Fugi TV, Shueisha, Jump Comics and Studio Pierrot. The only thing I own is a love for Yu Yu Hakusho and it's characters.

REMEMBERING LOVE

Chapter 1

Hiei flitted through across the rooftops of the familiar city. It may have been three years since he had been here but not much had changed. He knew he should have come back sooner but there had been so many changes going on in Makai and he had been unable to until now.

If he were honest he would admit that he had allowed things in Makai to prevent him from coming back. Memories of his time here in the Ningenkai came flooding back to him. Though he resented the time he had been forced to spend here he had to admit that they were some of the best times of his life, in the end they were also some of the most painful.

Seeing his destination ahead Hiei brought his mind back to the present. If he dwelled too much on the past he might return to Makai without the answers he sought. Flitting to the familiar window Hiei peeked in. Though a few things had changed it was still unmistakable who lived there. Kurama.

Pushing on the window Hiei shouldn�t have been surprised to find it locked. He was only delayed a few seconds as he picked the lock before slipping inside. He took a moment to look around the bedroom before walking through the apartment.

The furniture was the same only moved around slightly. The fox�s books still graced the bookshelves with the occasional picture. As expected there were pictures of the redhead with his mother and a few of her new family. What surprised him was the lack of other pictures. Looking around Hiei realized there wasn�t even one picture of their friends.

Curious he went back to the bedroom. On the night stand by the bed stood only a portrait of Shiori. Kurama�s favorite picture of him with his best friend was missing. Ignoring the pain in his heart Hiei went to the desk to look for signs of where the Youko might be.

He found what he sought in the second drawer of the desk in a folder marked pay stubs. Taking note of the name and address on the folder Hiei flitted out the window.

In less than an hour Hiei was looking up at a sign that read �University Books�. A flash of red caught his eye and he turned his attention to the window of the book store. Inside he could see the familiar redhead smiling at a little girl as he showed her a book.

Though his former partner�s smile was beautiful Hiei knew it wasn�t genuine. When Kurama smiled for real there was a sparkle in his eyes, that sparkle was missing now. Kurama moved away from the window and before he knew it Hiei had pushed open the door and gone inside.

Hiei�s trained ear easily picked up the sound of his former partner�s soft alto voice and he smiled. Moving closer he watched and listened as Kurama spoke animatedly about the book he was showing the little girl. After a moment the girl rushed of excitedly calling her mother.

As the girl hurried away Kurama�s smile faded and he looked almost sad. He placed several books back on the shelves before turning in Hiei�s direction. The fire demon waited to see what reaction his presence would have on the fox. Disheartened, Hiei watched as another false smile crossed the redhead�s face. �Hello, is there something I can help you find?�

Hiei stared a moment, allowing Kurama�s voice to wash over him. �Fox��

A brief look of confusion crossed the redhead�s face before realization dawned. �Of course, right this way.�

Hiei followed as Kurama led him through the store. Halfway down one of the isles of books the redhead stopped and pointed. �I have only one small book on foxes themselves but there are a number of very good animal books with excellent information on them.�

Hiei shook his head. �What the hell are you talking about? Kurama, what�s wrong with you?�

Kurama looked startled at the hostility in Hiei�s voice. �Kurama? I�m sorry, you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Shuuichi.�

To prove his point the redhead pointed at the name badge on his shirt. Hiei stared at Kurama. �Alright Kurama, I get it. I know you said you were going to stay in this human life until Shiori died but I won�t let you pretend you don�t know me Fox.�

The redhead looked distressed. �Who are you? How do you know about my mother?�

Hiei eyed Kurama wearily. �Something�s not right here, I can�t even feel your youki. I need to talk to the detective.�

Hiei was momentarily relieved when Kurama relaxed at the mention of their former teammate, at least until the fox spoke. �Detective? Are you with the police? Doesn�t youki mean demon energy or something? And what does this have to do with my mother?�

Hiei shook his head, Kurama was starting to confuse him. �I know I�ve been gone a while Kurama but you can�t tell me you don�t know Yusuke.�

A brief spark of recognition lit Kurama�s green eye. �You know Mr. Urameshi? He�s a regular customer here. He buys a lot of manga. I didn�t know he was a policeman though.�

Hiei�s mouth fell open in disbelief, he almost felt like laughing. �This is some kind of joke right?�

A slightly wounded look crossed Kurama�s face. �I�m sorry but no, I really don�t know what you�re talking about. If you�ll excuse me I should get back to work.�

When the fox would have turned away Hiei grabbed his wrist. �Wait! You really don�t know me do you?�

Red hair swung as Kurama shook his head. �No, I�m sorry I don�t.�

Not sure what to think of the events of the last few minutes Hiei looked down at the wrist he still held in his hand. A frown crossed his brow as he took in the scars he saw there. The question in his eyes was obvious when he looked into the Kurama�s green eyes. Snatching his hand away the redhead blushed as he rubbed where Hiei had held him. �I had an accident a couple of years ago, or so I�m told. I don�t remember much about it.�

When it didn�t look as though Hiei would respond Kurama turned away again. �Kur� Shuuichi wait. Does the name Hiei mean anything to you?�

Green eyes showed no sign of recognition as Kurama looked back over his shoulder. �No, I�m sorry, it doesn�t.�

Hiei stood there for some time after Kurama walked away. Without looking back Hiei left the store.

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Hiei wandered the streets for an hour unsure of what to do. He could go to Shiori for answers since Kurama obviously remembered her, but not knowing what was going on he wasn�t sure if he�d have the same reception, or rather lack of, that he got from Kurama.

Not in the mood to search for Yusuke, Hiei flitted to the park. Once there he flared his demon energy briefly before making himself comfortable in what used to be his favorite tree. Unless he was mistaken he could take about a half hour nap before the detective woke him.

Exactly half an hour later Yusuke sprinted into the park. He didn�t waste time looking around but headed straight to the tree he had visited many times in the past. High in the branches Hiei�s black cloak was barely visible. �Predictable as always Detective.�

Yusuke laughed. �Hiei, you bastard! How long have you been back?�

Hiei didn�t answer until he had hopped down from his branch. Hands tucked into his cloak Hiei faced his former teammate. �A few hours.�

The tone of Hiei�s voice made the smile fade from Yusuke�s face. �Then you�ve seen him. How�d it go?�

Red eyes glared at him. �How the hell do you think it went Yusuke? What happened to Kurama?�

Chocolate eyes stared back. �I don�t suppose I could convince you not to see him again could I?�

Hiei growled and gave his usual answer. �Hn.�

Calmly Yusuke nodded. �Didn�t think so. Let�s have a seat and I�ll tell you about it.�

Once they were seated on a nearby bench Yusuke rested his arms on his knees as he began to speak. �It all started three years ago when you returned to Makai. Kurama tried not to let anyone know how much your leaving effected him but within a few months it was apparent that he wasn�t handling your breakup very well.�

As hard as he tried not to, Hiei visibly flinched at the word �breakup� but he remained silent. �Kurama was a master at hiding his emotions so the first sign we had was physical. He began to lose a lot of weight. At first we didn�t contribute it to depression but when he dropped out of college right before graduation and lost his job because he was late or didn�t show up at all we began to realize he needed help.�

Neither man looked at the other as Yusuke spoke. �With Shiori�s help we got him into therapy but the wiley fox knew how to outwit the therapist. We tried getting him back into spirit detective work. You know, getting in a few fights, killing a few bad guys can help exercise a man�s personal demons. That made things even worse. Kurama�s fighting style had changed. He didn�t toy with his opponents like he used to. He was vicious, just out for the kill even when it wasn�t necessary. By the fifth assignment he changed again. He refused to fight with his spirit energy, it was as if he wanted them to hurt him.�

Yusuke paused waiting for a reaction from Hiei. When he didn�t get one he continued. �Then the worst possible thing that could have happened did. A little over two years ago Shiori was killed in a car accident.�

Hiei�s head whipped around, his red eyes wide with disbelief. �No.�

Yusuke gave Hiei a moment to absorb the news. �Koenma was here before Kurama could be notified. Even though he knew it would be hard on her, Koenma sent Botan for Shiori. He knew that Kurama would want his mother with someone he trusted. Kuwabara and I went with Koenma to tell Kurama. After everything that had happened we knew this could destroy him.�

Hiei�s heart was pounding as Yusuke continued. �We were all shocked when Kurama handled it with his usual calm. Looking back we realize that Yoko must have helped Shuuichi maintain control until well after the funeral. We watched him day and night, he wasn�t alone for almost three months. The first time we left him alone we came back to find his apartment a jungle of deadly plants. Luckily his plants were trained not to kill their master but he was hurt pretty bad.�

Yusuke drew a deep breath. �Unfortunately we weren�t diligent enough in watching him and he slipped away from us a few weeks later. Within an hour he had almost succeeded in killing himself. A hiker found him in the woods with his wrists slashed. They got him to the hospital in time but not before he needed a transfusion. After that we took him to Reikai where we kept him guarded and warded.�

Hiei spun on Yusuke, grabbing him by the shirt. �Damn it Yusuke he�s a fox, you can�t cage him up! Why wasn�t I notified?�

Angrily Yusuke shoved Hiei away from him and they faced off. �We tried! Even though he forbid us to we sent word to Alaric that Kurama needed you! The message we got back was that you wouldn�t come! We tried again when Shiori died but got the same message!�

Hiei staggered back and slumped down on the bench. �I didn�t get any messages. Yusuke, no matter what happened between us you know I would have come if Kurama needed me. Especially when Shiori� died.�

With a deep breath Yusuke sat back down. �Kurama was wild at first, it was three days before we could even get near him. After that he was so deadly calm we wondered if he was still breathing. On he fifth day Kurama asked to speak to us, Koenma, Kuwabara and myself. He finally told us what was wrong.�

Yusuke didn�t look at Hiei. �He loved you Hiei but he felt you didn�t love him back when you wouldn�t stay with him. He was in his own personal hell having to chose between his mother and his lover. He didn�t understand why you wouldn�t wait the few years Shiori might have lived.�

The pain that had plagued Hiei�s heart since finding his picture missing in Kurama�s room intensified as he listened to Yusuke. �Then when Shiori died less than a year after you left it did destroy him just as we feared but not because she died but because he felt he had lost you for nothing. If you had waited you both would have been back in Makai within a year.�

Hiei was breathing hard trying to control his anger. �How do you think I felt when he said he loved me then chose her over me? He should have come to me when she died!�

Yusuke looked at Hiei. �He didn�t think he could. He thought you hated him.�

Hiei�s jaw clenched. �I did hate him for a long time but I love him and would have taken him back no matter what.�

The two sat silent for several minutes. When Hiei spoke the pain in his voice was obvious. �Why can�t he remember me?�

Yusuke drew a deep breath. �After telling us what he�d been feeling he gave us two alternatives. Erase any memory he had of being a demon, including all of us� or help him die.�

AUTHOR�S NOTE

Since I wrote this a while ago I�m combining some of the shorter chapters to make them longer.

I�m going to be calling Kurama Shuuichi for a while. I think it will be less confusing since he doesn�t know Kurama exists yet.

PLEASE READ THIS! http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2970221/1/ is the link to �Missing�, what I think should be chapter 2 of this story. It was written by dragonflyr ( http://www.fanfiction.net/u/522783/ ) and is posted by her with my full approval. It is just awesome. I hope everyone will read it and leave her a raving review. I can�t thank her enough for the compliment to my work. If the links don�t come through I�ll edit this and let you know how to find them.

Chapter 2 1/2

Flitting across the Makai desert, Hiei headed for Alaric. He had spent almost two hours with Yusuke talking about Kurama�s breakdown and ultimate decision. The more he heard the angrier Hiei got, and the more hurt. Hurt that his former partner and lover hadn�t trusted him enough to seek his help when he�d needed it most.

Hiei wasn�t the only one that had been hurt though. Kurama had been so hurt he had been driven to do unthinkable things to himself.

FLASHBACK

After hearing Yusuke�s words Hiei�s heart pounded. �Kurama loved being a demon, he�d never want to forget that. What happened to Yoko? Did he have any say in this?�

Yusuke smiled at the concern he heard in Hiei�s voice. �Don�t worry, we made sure your Youko agreed to everything. You know how much they both grew to care for each other over the years. Yoko didn�t want to see Shuuichi die nor did he want him to hurt anymore. They both agreed to have Shuuichi�s memories suppressed and their demon powers bound. This would make Yoko dormant like when Shuuichi was a child. When Shuuichi dies Yoko will return to Makai with his powers restored but he too wanted his memories since his death as a Youko suppressed.�

The pain in Hiei�s heart grew. When had left Kurama it had hurt more than he would admit but Hiei had resigned himself that he would wait for Kurama�s human life to end before being reunited with his lover as a demon. Now he had to face the reality that Kurama hadn�t felt the same. That the Youko too had sunk so deep in depression that even when he returned to Makai he didn�t want to remember his love for Hiei.

END FLASHBACK

Entering the castle at Alaric Hiei headed straight to Mukuro�s office. Without knocking he kicked open the door. The demon lord looked up annoyed. �Where the hell have you been? I needed you on the western border this morning.�

Red eyes glared at the demoness. �I don�t work for you anymore. You broke our contract.�

A brow rose over her one human eye as Mukuro walked around her desk to face him.. �How do you figure that?�

The fire demon stood his ground. �Our agreement clearly states that Kurama, Yukina and my extended Reikai Tantei family will always take priority over my duties here. You withheld messages that Kurama was in trouble and that Shiori had died. My fox needed me and you kept me from him. Consider this my resignation.�

When Hiei turned and walked from the room Mukuro was right behind him. �You�re not going anywhere Hiei. I�m not letting that human take my heir without a fight.�

Removing his cloak Hiei threw it aside. �Fine, but when I walk out of here our affiliation is over.�

Drawing his sword Hiei attacked his former boss.

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Shuuichi was deep in thought as he walked home from work. For some reason his thoughts kept wandering back to the black cloaked man he had encountered a few days before. The pain he saw in the man�s striking red eyes when the redhead denied knowing him had plagued Shuuichi since that day.

At night he had even dreamt about the haunted expression in the man�s red eyes. In the morning he couldn�t shake the feeling he had seen that expression before, like a fleeting memory that he couldn�t hold onto in the light of day.

The following day when Mr. Urameshi had shown up in the bookstore to buy his latest manga Shuuichi had been suspicious but, not wanting to bother his customer, had written it off to coincidence. Thinking that he should have asked about the man from the previous day the redhead almost missed the black cloaked figure sitting in the grass, leaning against the tree in front of his apartment building.

His steps faltered as he realized that the man�s eyes were closed and he wasn�t sure if he was sleeping or unconscious. Shuuichi hesitated before taking a step closer. He jumped when red eyes popped open suddenly. �Oh, I�m sorry. I thought you might need help.�

As the red eyes regarded him Shuuichi caught the barest hint of a smile. �I�m glad I got to see you K� Shuuichi. I wanted to� apologize� for upsetting you the other day. It�s just that� you remind me of someone I used to know.�

Shuuichi gave him a warm smile. �No please, I believe it was me that upset you. I got the impression that this Kurama you spoke of was someone very special to you.�

Hiei couldn�t take his eyes off the beautiful redhead. �Yes, he was, but apparently he�s gone now.�

Shuuichi�s smile faded. �I�m sorry to hear that.�

Concerned that the man hadn�t risen or even moved Shuuichi looked him over suspiciously. Looking down at his hands laying limp in the grass Shuuichi gasped when he saw blood running down the fingers of his left hand. Quickly he moved to kneel in the grass. �You�re bleeding! Where are you hurt?�

Looking briefly at his bloody hand Hiei gave a weak shrug. �It�s nothing you need to worry about.�

There was obvious concern in Shuuichi�s green eyes. �Unless you can prove that to me I�m calling an ambulance.�

When the redhead would have turned away Hiei grabbed his arm. �No! I� um� don�t like hospitals. I�ll be fine.�

Shuuichi blushed slightly at the odd tingly feeling where Hiei held his arm. �At least let me call someone for you. I can�t just leave you here bleeding.�

The red eyes that looked back at him held such sadness it pulled at Shuuichi�s heart. �Mr. Urameshi gave me his card once. I might still have it somewhere if you don�t have anyone else to call.�

Hiei just nodded. Reluctantly Hiei released the arm he held and rose to follow the redhead. Inside Shuuichi had Hiei sit in one of the kitchen chairs while he looked for Yusuke�s card. Several minutes later he returned frustrated. �I�m sorry, I can�t seem to find it.�

Green eyes widened in amazement when Hiei quietly rattled off a number. Realizing it was a phone number Shuuichi quickly picked up the phone and dialed before handing the phone to Hiei.

Shuuichi was shocked at the rude tone his guest used when he spoke to the person at the other end of the line. �Put Yusuke on woman!�

Hiei flinched away from the earpiece as Keiko yelled loud enough for even Shuuichi to hear. �YUSUKE! Hiei�s on the phone!�

When Hiei was able to bring the phone back to his ear Shuuichi could only hear Hiei�s side of the conversation.

�You know I hate these nin� contraptions!�

�I�m at Ku� Shuuichi�s.�

�Hn!�

�I will not!�

�I don�t give a damn Detective! I�m reclaiming what is rightfully mine!�

�Hn!�

Hiei�s gaze had been locked on Shuuichi�s as he spoke so the redhead jumped when the phone was shoved at him. �He wants to talk to you.�

Warily he took the phone. �This is Shuuichi.�

After hearing the black cloaked man�s end of the conversation he was surprised when the voice that greeted him was calm and friendly. �Hey Shuuichi, it�s Yusuke. I understand you�ve met my old buddy. Is he in one piece or is he wounded as usual?�

Shuuichi was unable to keep the apprehension from his voice. �He�s bleeding Mr. Urameshi and he won�t let me call an ambulance. I didn�t know who else to call. When I realized he knew you and that you were a policeman I looked for the card you gave me but I couldn�t find it. He knew your number though.�

Yusuke laughed. �Whoa, slow down. First off I�ve asked you before to call me Yusuke. Whatever you do don�t call an ambulance he� um� doesn�t have any insurance. He heals pretty fast, just slap a Band-Aid on him or something. Oh and where the hell did you get the idea I�m a policeman?�

Shuuichi wasn�t pleased with any of the answers Yusuke gave him. �He called you detective, I thought that meant you were a policeman. Please Yusuke, can�t you come and get him? He really needs more than a Band-Aid.�

Yusuke hesitated before replying. �I�d really appreciate it if you kept him Shuuichi. I can�t bring him here, he and my wife really don�t get along with each other. I�m sure you�ll do fine patching him up. I�ll check in to see how things are going.�

Before he could respond Yusuke hung up. Shuuichi looked at the phone in shock before hanging it up. He looked at Hiei and shrugged. �I guess you�re staying here for now. Maybe you should take your cloak off so we can get you cleaned up.�

Hiei hid his smile and silently thanked Yusuke. Reaching up to remove his cloak he watched Shuuichi as he began wetting a kitchen towel. �Shuuichi, go get the first aid kit from the hall closet.�

Green eyes lit up at the suggestion. So much had happened in the last half hour Shuuichi didn�t stop to question how this stranger knew where the first aid kit was. When he reentered the kitchen he gasped. �Please let me take you to the hospital. Those wounds need stitches not Band-Aids.�

There was a large gash along Hiei�s upper left arm and another across his chest. There were also several burns across his arms and torso. �It�ll be fine. Just put the kit on the table and get that towel you were wetting.�

Shuuichi remained silent as he did as Hiei told him. Returning with the towel Hiei took it and began cleaning his wounds. Shuuichi rinsed it several times before getting up the courage to clean the wounds Hiei couldn�t reach. When they finished cleaning the wounds he opened the first aid kit and began rummaging through it, pulling out bandages and several jars of creams.

Hiei smiled. �The pink cream is for cuts and the blue one is for burns.�

Again the redhead didn�t question Hiei�s knowledge just followed his instructions. Taking out clean cotton swabs he put the pink cream on the gashes and the blue one on the burns. Once that was done he carefully bandaged each wound.

Hiei watched enthralled as his fox gently tended his wounds. Hiei blushed when green eyes smiled up from where Shuuichi knelt beside him. �I had my doubts but I think you�ll live.�

Hiei openly smiled back at the beautiful creature beside him. �I didn�t doubt you for a moment.�

This time Shuuichi blushed. Embarrassed he rose and cleaned up the mess they had made. �Are you hungry? I was going to fix chicken for dinner. There�s enough for two.�

Hiei sighed contentedly. �Chicken sounds good.�

As he fixed dinner Shuuichi was very aware of the red eyes watching him. For some reason it made him feel both nervous and good at the same time. It also felt good to cook for someone other than himself. This was the first time he had fixed dinner for anyone since his mother died.

Something dawned on him and Shuuichi turned to his guest. �I just realized, I still don�t know your name.�

The red eyes that met his looked nervous. �It�s Hiei.�

Shuuichi regarded him a moment before turning back to the stove. �Hiei, that�s the name you used in the bookstore, the one you thought I should know. Do I really look that much like your friend Kurama?�

Hiei released the breath he hadn�t realized he held. Deep down he hoped that his name would spark a memory in his fox. He tried to hide his disappointment as he answered. �Yes and no. It�s hard to explain.�

Looking at Hiei, Shuuichi saw the sadness in the red eyes again before it was disguised. �I�m sorry, I didn�t mean to upset you again.�

Hiei shook his head with a smile. �Don�t worry, like you said, I�ll live.�

Shuuichi smiled. �Good, because dinner�s ready.�

Plates were filled and the two sat at the table. Unsure what to say to each other they talked little as they ate. After Shuuichi cleaned the kitchen the two flipped through the channels on the TV a while occasionally stopping to watch a show.

At ten o�clock the redhead rose from the sofa. �I don�t have a spare bedroom but the sofa�s pretty comfy. I�ve fallen asleep on it a few times myself. I�ll be right back.�

A moment later he returned and placed a blanket and pillow on the sofa. �Goodnight Hiei, sleep well.�

Shuuichi was prevented from turning away when a warm hand reached for his. Shyly he turned to look at Hiei. �Shuuichi, thank you for taking care of me today. It means more to me than you could possibly know.�

Hiei�s heart skipped a beat when the beautiful smile he received lit up his love�s green eyes. �I�m glad I could help Hiei. Besides, you looked like you could use a friend.�

When Shuuichi left the room Hiei lay down on the sofa and buried his face in the soft feather pillow he had used so many times in the past. Savoring the lingering scent of roses on his pillow it was a long time before Hiei slept.
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REMEMBERING LOVE