Adult-FanFiction.org : YuYu Hakusho

Selfish Desire	By : choukitsune Category: Yuyu Hakusho > General Views: 3898 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own YuYu Hakusho, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Selfish Desire

Selfish Desire
By Youko
Starr
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Summary:Yukina takes up a great and important self-appointed
mission: Reunite the Reikai Tantei at all costs! Can one determined ice
princess do it all alone or is there someone out there willing to help...?
Warnings: If you're one of those stupid people who like to ignore warnings and complain AFTER reading the chapter, I have nooooo apologies for you!

Keiko was distraught because Yusuke had worsened and nearly completely shut her out of his life. When not at his ramen stand, he was at the shrine training, and claimed he couldn't concentrate with her being present. She feared he wanted nothing else to do with her at all, and that he had fallen out of love with her since his return from Makai.
Only desiring to offer help, Kurama found himself visiting Yusuke's residence to speak to him on Keiko's behalf.
The memories that followed, were like a punch in the gut to the jaganshi that viewed them. Hiei's teeth clenched, and his rage boiled like lava.
Kurama arrived to find a drunken Yusuke on the couch. Apparently, he had nipped a few bottles of sake from Atsuko's stash. The ability to hold liquor was not hereditary. While trying to guide the intoxicated teen into his bedroom and into bed, their limbs had become tangled, and he fell into an all too eager young Toushin's embrace. The first kiss between them had been electrifying. Yusuke had been unable to pass up the temptation and the grip of his arms had been like iron, holding the struggling youko in place until at last, Kurama gave in.
If I keep my eyes closed, if I don't breathe in his scent, if I try not to feel, if I just don't think, maybe just maybe I'll believe he's Hiei.
It was close enough. Kurama could pretend it was the lover he truly wished to be with. It turned out (much later, when Yusuke was no longer drunk, suffering deep embarrassment, and shame for his actions) that the youth was going through a difficult time of discovering what exactly it was he wanted. He'd neglected Keiko, because, he was uncertain of whether or not he even enjoyed the company of the girl anymore. He noticed his evolving preference one day after a training where he'd seen Kurama, covered in the light sheen of an exhausted sweat, with his shirt half open to reveal the smooth plane of his chest.
As Kurama's human body grew into adulthood, the youko's sensuality began to completely emerge. Everything the fox did drew attention to him, whether he wished for it or not. This time, it had drawn two lovers to the Youko, and he had unknowingly wedged the two even further apart without ever meaning to.
Just by being the desirable half-fox he was.
During the second meeting between them a week later, Kurama had called out Hiei's name during a passionate moment, then Yusuke forced the kitsune to explain. When he did, Yusuke was sympathetic. "Well, he doesn't know what he's missin' out on if he's got eyes for 'metalface' and not you."
So had they thought he was after Mukuro? Hiei's anger swelled, resentment boiling deep within him. Perhaps he had been foolish for leaving the fox unattended for so long. He knew their kind, and he knew that sex for them was nothing but pleasure. The mating was what counted, and devotion to always be by the side of their lover, to always protect them and comfort them.
Hiei hadn't done that. He'd been too busy in Alaric to notice his suffering fox was full of bitter envy, spite, and depression. He growled and sped through more images, forcing one in particular to the surface; the night in question. He saw every moment through the fox's eyes, and for the first time realized that Kurama had not meant to take that blade for Yusuke at all this time. In fact, the fire apparition had been so blinded by pain and rage that he hadn't even thought to look at Kurama to notice he had been standing absolutely still and waiting for the katana to take him as well.
He deserved to die. He had forgotten that youko ideals weren't practiced by all, and had been caught up in the moment of passion one too many times. Now, his one true love was here to kill him.
Hearing the past thoughts of his lover was nearly enough to bring tears to his eyes. Yet, he would go on, and still he concentrated, moving through rapid sceand and memories of a boring life in Ningenkai over the years. It was a life without the fire apparition, if it could barely be called one. For years, Kurama had lived the life of a lonely monk. He�d dabbled in no relationships, taken no women (or men either) and had been a recluse when not out at work. The most recent images surfaced at last; he was reaching the end of it.
Kurama broke down at the kitchen table. He could hold it all inside him no longer. Everything must be said, every sin, every misdeed, every lie must be admitted to the woman who had cared for him, loved him, and sacrificed her own happiness for him many times over. She was his mother in every sense of the word. She had given him life and rebirth and he had paid her back with dishonesty. Teary-eyed, and near his breaking point, the kitsune revealed everything about his former and current lives. He revealed his former identity, told her of the cold-hearted and angry Youko, told her of his death and rebirth as her son, and confessed her miraculous recovery was at the price of a smudge on his own criminal record in the afterlife. He had stolen a great mirror with a past darker than his own, and wished at risk of his life for her to become happy. When he was captured, the penalty was to become a detective for their realm. As his mother watched and listened, he trembled and described some of his cases. At times, she too cried as she realized how close she was to losing her son. He told her of the love that grew between he and his short and dark little friend, and last, he told her of his betrayal, leaving out the dirtiest parts.
His mother forgave him because her love was unconditional. She even said that if this young man of his had loved him for even a measure of what he felt in return, he too, would find it in his heart to forgive one day as well.
He didn't need to see any more. Hiei tore the Jagan free of Kurama's mind, and as he did, the sweating, nearly convulsing redhead collapsed. "Shit!" he cursed, capturing Kurama within his embrace before his head could contact the ground. Gently, as he would his own child, he cradled the seizuring kitsune. "Just ride it out...that's it," he murmured. The nearby clock on the wall told him they had been in trance for nearly six hours. No one had ever withstood the Jagan for that length of time, and he feared for the kitsune's mental health. "Why did you insist on me doing that... you knew how dangerous it would be," he whispered, lowering into a sitting position where he could rest the redhead on his lap and watch him suffer in misery, unable to help.
There was nothing that could be done now, besides the wait. �Come on, Kurama. You�re stronger than this,� he murmured, cradling his lover lap. �Come back to me.�

***
�M-m-married?� Not that he was one to stutter, but that was some confession to suddenly hit him with. Brown eyes had grown large and wide, and a heated blush of embarrassment rapidly passed over Yusuke�s face. �Well, he�s a lucky bastard, whoever he is.� He frowned, concealing his own injured feelings. He�d been a fool to assume that after eight years, Keiko would not have found a devoted man to take care of her.
�I�m sorry, Yusuke,� she apologized in a soft whisper. �My parents�after we split apart they forced me to move away to live with a relative so I would be out of Tokyo. They wanted me to move on, find a man to love and protect me�have children.�
�You have kids too!?� The disbelieving expression on his face was priceless. He took an involuntary step backwards, already wondering if he could strike a spirit with his spirit gun. Damn Kuwabara for insisting everyone reunite, but not checking the background of everyone to ensure they were free to do it!
�No...I�m unable to have children, Yusuke.�
�Oh.� Relief flooded him, resting visibly on his features before he realized the severity of her words, and that it was truly nothing to be glad about. �I�m sorry. That�s pretty bad.�
�No. I�m alright with it now. I�ve had eight years to get over it.�
Yusuke nodded, swallowing. His throat and mouth had never been so dry. His chest was tight with emotion. Now that she stood before him, he realized more than ever that she was what he wanted. Eight years had passed, been taken by their own immaturity and infidelity. He wanted nothing more than to reclaim her as his. �Are you happy?�
�What do you mean?�
�With him. Are you happy?� he repeated. �'Cause if you aren�t, if that bastard doesn�t realize what a good thing he has, you let me know.� He couldn�t help himself, he had to feel her, had to know the touch of her embrace once more. Yusuke tugged the love of his life against him, crushing her against his . Ke. Keiko offered no resistance, nor was he slapped and called a jerk, although right now, he would have paid her just for that, a reminder of how things had once been.
�Happy enough to go on,� she replied softly against his ear as they embraced. �I�ll miss you Yusuke. It was good seeing you again, after all.�
�Then come back and visit often Keiko. Not just 'cause something bad happens. Kuwabara could be having happy days in heaven right now, but he�s delaying the rewards of his good life to make sure we�re all friends again before he goes. We can�t ruin that. I could never forgive myself if we did.�
She nodded tearfully, then stepped back and wiped at her eyes. �You should go before my dad gets here and wonders why you�re around. They�re still angry at you. They never understood what happened between all of us kids. I couldn�t tell them.�
Yusuke shoved his hands deeply in his pockets, staring forlornly at the floor; the both of them had made such a big mess of things. Could her family ever really forgive the pain he had caused? �I know. Hey...listen. Why don�t you swing by my place before you leave. I�ll take you out to dinner. It won�t make up for the stupid things I did, but I owe it to you.�
�Yusuke...�

�No, I�m serious. I�ve got the money,� he bragged, offering a charming grin. �Come on, your favorite restaurant on me, then you can go home.�

�Alright.� Keiko kissed his cheek, then watched from the window as he walked away, thanking the sky for his second chance. (1)

***
�Yukina!� Botan called merrily, landing outside of the shrine. The chipper ice apparition skipped to the doors of the temple, then tugged them open to peer outside at her guest.
�Botan-chan! How did it go? Are they all friends again?� she asked eagerly, while using the edge of her sandals to nudge a wedge beneath the door.
�When we left they were going inside to Kurama�s bedroom to talk. Koenma said we shouldn�t spy though,� she grumped. �Kuwabara is seeing to it that Keiko and Yusuke get along again too.�
�That�s wonderful!� She smiled. The day was brightening even more. �I�m so happy for my oniisan. He deserved this new chance with Kurama. Thank you for helping me and Kazuma-san. Please give Koenma-sama my thanks as well.�
�Don�t mention it,� Koenma�s voice faded in, then out.
Botan scowled. �The sneak, always listening in and eavesdropping." "Well...I�ve got to get back to my duties, have a nice day, Yukina!� Botan chirped, quickly changing attitude whilst summoning her oar and taking off once more. There were souls to collect, and spirits to ferry...And a Reikai prince to spank when she returned.

***
Hiei had sat with the redhead curled against him for almost a half hour. The mild shaking and trembling was almost nonexistent now, with the occasional jitter. Had he any faith that Yukina�s magic could heal the fox, he�d have carried him on his back to the mountain shrine by now. But this was no injury of the body, it was one of the mind, one he prayed would soon heal. �You�re stronger than this, Kurama. Wake up,� he urged. He smoothed the fox�s bangs from his sticky forehead, and jerked as he heard the sound of the entrance doors opening downstairs.
�Shuichi? Are you here?� Shiori�s familiar voice called. Hiei gritted his teeth. How would he explain this to the kitsune�s human mother?
�He might have gone out. The boy only has a few days left in Japan, doesn�t he?� a male voice asked. Hiei didn�t quite recognize the voice from his own memory, but he had faint memories of it from Kurama�s thoughts...The stepfather. That�s right; Shiori-san had been married again while he was away in Makai.
Gently, Hiei slid one arm beneath the fox�s knees, another under his back, lifting him from the ground and to the bed. Once he was comfortable in bed, he walked out of the room and down the hall until he was at the top of the stairway and in full view of the fox�s parents. �He is sleeping, Shiori-san.�
�Hiei-kun?� The woman blinked, genuinely surprised to see the fire apparition her son had spoken so fondly of and loved so very much.
�Who is he? Do you know him, Shiori?� Hatanaka Kazuya asked, concern creasing his features.
�Shuichi and I told you of Hiei-kun once,� she whispered softly. Hiei lifted a brow. Did the fox�s whole family know of him? Had Shiori told her husband the truth about his stepson? Hiei doubted that, the woman seemed too smart to share a secret of that magnitude with a man that didn�t hold the same paternal feeling towards her natural son that she did.
�Another time is more suited for introductions, I�m afraid. Your son is ill,� he stated flatly to interrupt any further conversation concerning his identity. He needed to think of a suitable lie that would not contradict anything Kurama had already told his stepfather.
Concerned about Kurama�s health, both parents stepped towards the stairway, ready to ascend and check on the redhead�s condition, wer were stopped as Hiei raised a hand towards them. �Wait. I�d like to speak to Shiori-san if I may.� Mukuro�s forced lessons in diplomacy finally become useful.
�Anything you can say to my wife you can say to me.�
Crimson eyes narrowed, and Hiei grew seriously close to losing his cool. Shiori took that moment to fully examine the features of the young man her son her confessed his love for. Lithe in build, short of frame. She could see toned muscle outline beneath the material of his dark cloak. He obviously worked out. His right arm, which she recalled was the one Kurama said was etched with the mark of a dragon called right out of the pits of Makai, was bandaged, with fists tightly clenched. His eyes were red, in pictures of him, she had always assumed it was red eye, the glare of the sun, anything but the thought of him being demonic had passed her mind. Now she knew, and she could tell right now that the calm figure in Shuichi�s photos was very upset, and very impatient with the humans in front of him
�Please, Kazuya,� she spoke up, meeting Hiei�s eyes. According to her son, the demon was a mind reader, and she was certain he knew that she had been clued in on their secret. �It will only take a minute.�
Kazuya looked with uncertainty at his wife, but respected her wishes and stepped back from the stairway. She could hardly conceal her sigh of relief. Her son had told her a great many things about the love of his life, some had made her smile, others had made her frown, and there were a few that made her tremble. If her husband had denied her request, what would Hiei have done? She was relieved there was no need to find out.
Shiori�s feet felt like lead weights with every step she took up the stairway. As she reached the top, Hiei turned and reentered Kurama�s bedroom, leading her inside. The human woman followed, stepping to the fox�s bedside. �He�s only sleeping, isn�t he?�
�Not exactly,� Hiei responded, staring at tnconnconscious kitsune. �His mind is resting. It needed to heal.�
�From what?� Shiori frowned, gently brushing Kurama�s bangs from his forehead. Luckily, he no longer shook or trembled from the mind shock of the Jagan, and now laid peacefully still on the mattress. Had she seen the fit her son suffered briefly before her arrival she would be in hysterics.
�You know what I am, Shiori-san. You also know what your son is.� He raised his hand to his bandanna, merely touching it. �A jagan lies beneath this cloth. A third eye that sees into the heart and mind.�
Shiori found herself staring at the little demon barebarely came up to her chin. She remembered her son telling her about the third eye his lover had implanted, and that it helped him master the dark dragon flame. �It�s glowing,� she whispered softly, seeing a faint, almost invisible pale blue glow in the shape of an oval. (2)
�It takes no effort to read your surface thoughts. I know every one of them, Shiori-san. And I will answer them only because you are his mother. No, I will not harm you, your son, or anyone who lives in this home. Right now, a difficult time lies ahead for Kurama. He willingly stared into my Jagan to show me his memories, and it�s taken its toll upon him. I don�t know when he will awaken, and I don�t know what the state of his mind will be when he does.�

Reviewer Response:

Ariel: Can't please everyone. Sorry. Not that I am trying to make him seem like a sex-deranged freak but the dlsclaim, and the warning on many of the chapters does state I was going for the overdramatic feel because of my love of soap operas. Its typical soap opera that there's at least one good looking and sexy, crafty character who sleeps around. I chose Kurama because he is to me, the author, the best looking out of the group.
And on the subject of him not being like that. We really have no idea what he is and isn't ICly because neither manga nor Anime go into his character's personal sex life. Sure, its mostly us eager fan girls who paint him that way, but I also don't think he appeared to be some deranged sexual predator either. Enjoying sex with either or both genders (a lot or a little) doesn't make someone a weirdo.
Spede: You flatter me. I hope you enjoy the next couple of chapters and that they don't disappoint you then :) I have absolutely no problem accepting long reviews. I normally don't write Yusuke/Keiko simply because I don't know her char well, and I feel I do a poor job of writing her. I suppose practice is the only way to improve and attempt perfection, however, so will be including her in fics more often.
Kuroi-san: Again, can't please everyone. Trying would be futile. I set out with the intent of writing a story as dramatic as possible, while once again practicing angst. I'll probably never be good at it, but practice is what brings us closest to perfection, and giving up is the coward's way. In the pictures I have, Hiei is a head shorter than Shuichi's human form, I'm assuming perhaps three shorter than Youko.
I always try to do something different each fic, I've done Hiei-uke, but I also find difficulty in seeing Hiei as submissive enough to allow someone screw him. I'll probably alternate between H/k and K/h from fic to fic. As for the discovery scene. I know. Believe me. Problem is neither of them ever profess love in the series for each other, or anyone else. Kind of hard to base something in a story off of a scene that doesn't exist in the manga or anime really. And because I wanted sap, I just went with what was right this time around. I'm always open to suggestions, I usually go through my stories again and edit them after I've completed them and stopped getting reviews before I submit them anywhere else. I still have a couple stories to do that to...
Ataure: Update for j00! Sorry for the cliffhanger. I'm about half way through the next chapter already so it might come quick after this one.
KitsuneLover: I tend to write about 8000 words if I get carried away lately, usually my chapters are a nice 3-5000. When they get too long, its hard to ferret out all of the mistakes, inconsistencies, plot holes, etc. I never do long lemons, unless, I get carried away or its specifically for Adultfanfiction.net. Usually I keep them at a few paragraphs only.
Ms.bitz: Stop that, woman. You make me blush. I am glad you like the memories!
Katarica: I demand you update your fic. Now. No excuses, young woman.
Kuramaandhiei4ever: Thank you, girl! Sorry for bombarding you with chapters, I got overzealous during the beginning of the week and couldn't stop typing.

Everqueen: Waaaaah. Your other HP/YYH story needs update!
Amy: HA, six chapters. In YO' face! You can start that doujinshi now.
Almost at 70+ reviews for this one fic. Oi.
A/N: http://youkostarr.modblog.com is the way to read my live journal for an accurate listing of future and current fictions, and a place to submit ideas or requests if you'd like to. I'll be putting a poll up soon so people can vote on the next fic I write, cause I can't ever decide. (I couldn't remember if I hlrealready posted this, or not, I never go back to chapters unless I'm reediting after they're completed). Curse my cruddy typing. I spelled the url wrong :o
Story Notes:
(1): Yusuke followed Kuwa around as a ghost when he died. He�s assuming his friend is still up there, floating behind him like a guardian angel of sorts before his time is up.
(2): Some people say that Hiei�s bandanna is a ward and that his Jagan won�t work when its on. In episode 26 (I think it was that one) when they return Yukina to the ice world, it glows beneath the bandanna as he watches her walk away. He also reads Botan�s mind during the Dark Tournament when she nearly slips about his identity to Yukina, and in the picture, he's wearing the bandanna over it. �It doesn�t help that he�s a telepath and I�m a blabbermouth!�
Just explaining that before someone nitpicks and says, �The jagan doesn�t work with the bandanna on!� I was mistaken about that too at one time though. I think it just needs to be open and -seeing- for certain abilities, like his mind control and kokuryuuha.
- 5
- 6
- 7
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Selfish Desire